pioneer square

a guided tour thru seattles drinking/historical district

hi.my cousin tonya was found dead in a motel room after about 3 days of decomposition. needle still stuck in her arm. my mom says she can always tell when im not doing good cos i wont call her. i think its funny cos she has it completely backward; i only call her on the rare occasion things are really shitty and i've got no one else to talk to.

fear the walrus

i used to work with a girl named michael lynn on the beach and she was a dyke because she would always make me hafta do the really fucked up shit like talk to the customers an sanitize things and she thot she should just get to stand around frothing milk and gaining weight and i do not particularly like talking to people especially michael lynn so one time i put a lot of salt in her coffee and she actually quit over it. but after that i got to froth lots of milk and also talk to customers and clean everything cos they always hire pastry thieving lesbians to work at coffee shops and the new girl was to be no different.

haha no one is gonna click this huh. fuckers

I have not breasts, but creamy white rape invitations!!!!

tapeworm and I met one of his friends for drinks and some woman just invited herself to sit with us and started talking to me about how she had just spent all day driving here and she was a masseuse and she thought I looked like I "needed her" and decided not to ask if i minded her fondling my backside.
I was really trying to be okay about that cos she was drunk and also a professional (???) but then she started kissing the back of my neck and tapeworms friend (who had never met me before) was looking at me like i had invited this dyke freakshow over here to molest me in public. anyhow I felt completely helpless and like anything i said was gonna be a hate crime and i had probably incited all of this by even owning a vagina.

my lover is your mother

my uncle hung himself yesterday. I was supposed to go to tacoma to see my family but I'm hiding instead cos i just dont wanna. this is the second of my dad's brothers to kill himself. I was 14 when the first one died and I went to stay with my family in spokane for the week and my cousin chris told me that our cousin dj, whose father had just died, was actually our uncle. I was like psshhhhh whatever and he said "no really, grandpa fucked dj's mom" and I was like SHUT UP my grandpa did NOT sleep with his sons wife okay..
and i told my mom that chris was a liar and I didn't like him anymore and she was like what happened so I told her what he said and she was just quiet. I said NUH UHHHHH what kind of father fucking family have you brought me into?????? and you've left me alone with these pederasts :O what are we mormons???!!!!!!!!! how could you just not mention something like that.. but she didn't really think it was anything to get all excited over :|



is it really just my family thats so fucked or am I'm just the only one dumb enough to talk about it.