i totally peed for nothing

more training.. ugh yesterday was gayness. it might be too early to say for sure, but i dont think im feeling this job really. mostly, its the outfit. its indescribably lame and not comfortable. sort of a deal breaker y'know. this will be day 2 of wearing it and already im getting pretty pissy over it. i may be looking for something else again really soon. im actually somewhat looking forward to seeing my mom next month. last night i dreamt i was in seattle getting high. and it was a lot of fun damnit. i mail ordered a coupla things this week but im cheap and i took the free shipping options which are slower and waiting for them to get here is totally killing me esp cos i dont think either of them are getting here til monday at the earliest. fuck.

i have orientation today. i had to call my mom last night to transfer me money cos im -$89 right now. i kinda didnt think she would do it but she actually called back a few mins ago to see if i needed more. whoa..? um yes. sometimes more is better. i sunburnt myself all day yesterday wearing my sunglasses so i have a huge red triangle in the center of my face what is my nose and white around my eyes with a red forehead also i wore a ponytail yesterday so its red all around my neck except a white line down the center of my back i look amazzzing.

i got a new job! and its a damn good thing i had the foresight to lay off the dope a few months back cos indeed i had to pee in a cup for this one.
also, thats much harder than i had previously thot. i couldn't go the first time. they only allow 3 minutes and then they get really mean when you cant pee in front of them.
i had to stay there for an hour and drink water til i was sure that some evil old asian woman could no longer intimidate my bladder.
people working in pee collector positions are quite snatchy, as i suppose should be expected really. its not an ideal job description if you ask me.

heh

sorry im such a big fucking gay. i blogged something earlier and now im over it so i sorta thot it best to take it down cos i dont want certain somebodies to read it and think i flipped out over nothing and not want to tell me things in the future cos im a dramaqueen. i spent like half the day on the phone and exhausted my brain of all the gayity so i suppose i feel better (?) maybe. i dont know. so yeah, if you read that and wanted to give me feedback you are totally welcome to email me still.

i went to seattle last month from june 11 - 22. i spent a lot more time partying than packing but for the most part i got done what i came to do. moving my shit sucked a lot especially since i was exceptionally hungover for most of it. i dont really miss living there but i went in with the attitude that i was not going to let myself get all involved with things cos i knew i would only be there a couple weeks. i semi succeeded. i cried the last day in my old apartment when i knew it would be the last time i held my guinea pig for a long time and who knows, possibly ever. it makes me feel like im a horrible person for leaving him. again.
things with tapeworm went really well surprisingly the transition into being just friends again was very smooth and natural but ide be lying if i said it was easy to walk away again for the fact that he is the best friend ive ever had and we never hang out anymore. he pretty much spent the whole time i was there trying to hook up with random chicks he meets in bars which was somewhat entertaining and nice to see that he's moved on. my parents were annoying as usual. we have spent many years living far apart so its not really too strange being away from them but i wonder if i wont regret that someday when they're gone. my mom in particular. even while i was there i spent more time with friends than family. i was pretty relieved when it was all over and time to come home. my mom is coming here next month sometime which should be interesting. i have no way of preparing jason and his family for that so maybe i just wont. she's pretty eager to finally meet them, im just glad shes leaving my dad home. i think..
anyhow i still hate my job. they were kinda pissy about me leaving for 2 weeks so im getting "work punished" or whatever. they cut my hours a bit and i think that might be my motivation to move on. aside from the fact its boring as fuck. also it has been FOUR MONTHS since ive gotten high. i just thot ide throw that in there.