Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Burden in my house

today I missssed out on gym time because whoever said kids are a blessing obvs did not have 3.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

1th time I dug a hole and stuck my mouth innit

my hobbies include eavesdropping and righteousness also habitually overextending my time and then having a total grown lady fit of emotional immaturity. But otherwise am a real fun house we should def hang out.

Saturday, April 13, 2019


Tried momming away from home today in hopes that would make it more enjoyable but as it turns out wherever we go, there we are lol I'm not a quitter but I'd sure like to be. This moment of honesty brought to you by blue dream and a coconut lacroix.

Monday, April 08, 2019

comatose commodity

There are some people who you can just tell they meditate and they're totally getting it right cause like they are genuine extraterrestrial super listeners now who posses calming abilities and they know things only calm quiet people can know and they are all humble confident and shit. It's fucking hot. I'm totally having transference issues lol. People should not listen to me like that because I will totally misunderstand that for love and I will probably get a boner and think about them all week long. Haha damn my life is sad.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

I'm not sending my best

Holy shit I forgot how to internet. Use it or smoke it away if you'd rather, i used to know lots of things lolol when you have many responsibilities it's best to let everything else just kinda fuck off in the background.  I brush my teeth sometimes but mostly im feeding bottomless preteen pits. Oh and I and clean ..aaaaand clean and clean. Nor really tho lol im a liar I'm neglecting children as well most household chores. My life is one big hulu dab fest. But I work occasionally.6 days a week and on Sunday I get paid to touch people it's a lot like this blog but with lotion.

Friday, February 26, 2010

i lactate 80 proof

ni-hao, internet its me carrie. i almost forgot i used to have a blog what with my busy schedule of non-stop nickjr and pop tarts. tho i did manage to get knocked up again in my absence. i totally just busted out some twins last month. identical boys that i cant tell apart. tandem breastfeeding makes me feel like a farm animal. i cant possibly understand the reason for having 2 kids that are exactly the same thinking of selling one maybe. i have become a plethora of fertility. my next litter will probably net me a tlc show.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

my uncle died like a month ago and my mom inherited his kid and his house and his business and does she share her wealth? pshhh. all i need is cable and she does not provide. im not greedy; i do not require a multitude of superfluous channels. in fact my humble request consists of broadcast stations only. just a little nbc is that too much to ask? not its not. but alas, i must suffer through antenna tv. i miss every third word of the days of our lives cos that bitch will not donate toward my need for a reliable signal. whore. of selfishness.

Monday, March 31, 2008

baby face

this pic is 2 1/2 weeks ago when she was already something over 6 lbs.

i cant poop my belly button hurts i have stabbing vagina pains. fyi.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

i dreamt i was at the fair an i found one of those chocolate covered strawberry vendors and for $7 they were gonna give me 5 dark and 5 white chocolate covered strawberries but instead i ended up with 10 chocolate covered skewered hotdogs but this was not at all disappointing (??) cos i dint even realize thats not what i had wanted until after waking but anyhow i was eating my hotdogs and they were melting all over my face and getting extra messy and i woke myself up trying to lick my own face clean which turned out to be completely covered in drool, not melted chocolate.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

welcome to my mommy blog :O

yep you read it right. if you thot my blog sucked ass before just wait until i start cooing about the fruits of my uterine cakes er whatever. i'll be honest with you, so far pregnancy is completely fucked. and just seven more months to go!!! im exhausted all the time and when im not sleeping i feel sick and have intense desire for pie and grease. i have awesome dreams tho. also im somewhat panicked about the whole birthing idea. but i guess its gotta come out somehow and im bound to wind up with a gaping souvenir of my stupidity. damnit.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

my boobs hurt

and i hate my fucking job. extra. i have nothing else going at the moment but i am seriously considering letting tomorrow be my last day cos its that fucking miserable. ferreals yo. for obvs reasons i am not trying to identify my place of employment but i will say that i have to dress like a goddamn retard and work upwards of 12 hour shifts on a regular basis. and by regular basis i mean 6 days per week. and no they dont pay well either. you're probably wondering why i would've agreed to such a job in the first place and honestly i dont have a good answer for you cos i am asking myself that very question. clearly i am stupid. all i can blame is my new found sobriety. i never made such dumb choices when i got high. in fact when i was high all the time i managed to avoid working completely for at least 2 years. definitely a much smarter carrie on weed. i dunno if i can live here much longer cos i cant get a decent job within a reasonable distance. in seattle i could get away without driving; nothing was more than an hour away by bus. here, all the good jobs are a minimum two hour bus ride away which is not gonna work out. not even close.

Friday, July 27, 2007

i totally peed for nothing

more training.. ugh yesterday was gayness. it might be too early to say for sure, but i dont think im feeling this job really. mostly, its the outfit. its indescribably lame and not comfortable. sort of a deal breaker y'know. this will be day 2 of wearing it and already im getting pretty pissy over it. i may be looking for something else again really soon. im actually somewhat looking forward to seeing my mom next month. last night i dreamt i was in seattle getting high. and it was a lot of fun damnit. i mail ordered a coupla things this week but im cheap and i took the free shipping options which are slower and waiting for them to get here is totally killing me esp cos i dont think either of them are getting here til monday at the earliest. fuck.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

i have orientation today. i had to call my mom last night to transfer me money cos im -$89 right now. i kinda didnt think she would do it but she actually called back a few mins ago to see if i needed more. whoa..? um yes. sometimes more is better. i sunburnt myself all day yesterday wearing my sunglasses so i have a huge red triangle in the center of my face what is my nose and white around my eyes with a red forehead also i wore a ponytail yesterday so its red all around my neck except a white line down the center of my back i look amazzzing.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

i got a new job! and its a damn good thing i had the foresight to lay off the dope a few months back cos indeed i had to pee in a cup for this one.
also, thats much harder than i had previously thot. i couldn't go the first time. they only allow 3 minutes and then they get really mean when you cant pee in front of them.
i had to stay there for an hour and drink water til i was sure that some evil old asian woman could no longer intimidate my bladder.
people working in pee collector positions are quite snatchy, as i suppose should be expected really. its not an ideal job description if you ask me.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

i have a job now where i sell things to people and i completely hate it. actually it would be good if more people wanted to buy the things that i sell but when people arent buying things i get to act busy and that translates to cleaning. so mostly i have a job cleaning more things than i sell. but they do pay me, so all is not lost. also i now have to get up at six am to work out which kinda blows but oh well right. i am still seeking other endeavors, tho. there is a new guy there, newer than me, who secures things er whatever he is basically a dork and he likes me too much for my liking. he wants to buy me lunch and touch me in bad places. also he is old enough to be my dad. well, if i had been born when he was in junior high anyway. wait, i probably was. that was dumb anyhow what i mean is he is and no matter how rude i am about that fact he does not take the hint and continues to portray himself in a child molesterly manner which is endearing in its own right im sure but will continue to prove fruitless nonetheless.
in other news i have not smoked pot at all in something like two months. surprisingly i dont really miss it all that much. not at all really. i dont even think about it and considering thats basically all i did for a good ten years it seems like its been a little too easy to give up. maybe its for good. who knows.