Friday, March 18, 2005

Gang Showers

This post by Rich over at Shockingly Provincial has inspired me to share with you a formative memory from my youth.

When I was nine I had the misfortune of attending camp with my fourth grade class for an entire week.
We were separated into cabins and intermingled with kids from other schools in my state who we would have to "bunk" with for our stay.

There were about ten girls in my cabin and two showers.
I had no idea they didn't plan on letting us take turns.

Instead of being even somewhat reasonable and letting us go two at a time, they piled five of us into each stall.

As if it wasn't weird enough for me to be naked and squished into a 3x4 stall with a bunch of girls I've never met, I somehow got stuck in there with a grotesquely over-developed 21 year old (what's a nice word for retarded??) woman who had THE HUGEST BOOBS I HAVE EVER SEEN!
Thank God for the remedial qualities of marijuana.

I cannot begin to recount here the horror of what I saw.
They were COLOSSAL. I was staring. We were all staring.

I don't know WHY she was there.
We were nine. She acted like she was six. She looked like she was forty.

Some of the other girls ended up befriending her and they would sit and talk for hours while the rest of us participated in various activities.
Pretty soon she was telling them all about living in a hospital and having strange men come into her room and rape her all the time, sparing no detail.
Her stories had quickly become the daily drama.

About the fourth night in, she freaked out. I heard her crying in the middle of the night. She jumped out of bed and ran out of the cabin screaming. Inevitably, chaos ensued.

The next morning they sent her sizeable ass back where it came from, but it was too late. We were spoiled; innocence lost.

God damn gang showers.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Holla Atcha Boi

Is that really an acceptable phrase?

I know some bloggers look disapprovingly upon those of us who see fit to forgo formality, writing and typing in the same way we speak, but...
does anyone actually talk like that??

It's baffling.

'Well', 'um' and 'like' suddenly pale in comparison.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

What Chinatown would rather forget

Despite its designation as the location of Washington State's worst mass murder, the Wah Mee Club is essentially invisible, non-existent, deceased.

Club EntranceIts entrance doors have been padlocked and tagged with graffiti. The opaque glass bricks that front the entrance are covered in a thick layer of dirt and grime.

Police, clandestinely enforcing a gambling tolerance policy, kept the Wah Mee Club alive for years.

Post MassacreWhen the Club officially died, it was at the hands of three young men who left thirteen dead bodies on the floor, and one man to tell the tale.

The Wah Mee Club may no longer exist, but what happened at the Club is a brutally horrific piece of Pacific Northwest history.

Find out more about Seattle's Wah Mee Massacre.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Novus Ordo Seclorum

Myron Fagan recorded his exposé on the Illuminati and Council on Foreign Relations in the late 1960's on three LP records. His lecture is presented here in six parts representing each side of those records.

Download individual mp3 files:
(right click and save link/target as)A New Order of the Ages
Part 1   play length 25 min.
Part 2   play length 24 min.
Part 3   play length 23 min.
Part 4   play length 26 min.
Part 5   play length 27 min.
Part 6   play length 27 min.


mp3 stream; the entire lecture.

An accompanying transcript.

As Myron is no longer with us, the addresses and telephone numbers given in his lecture are regrettably no longer valid.

I encourage you to save the Myron Fagan audio files as they are "irreplaceable" and their existence on this blog cannot be guaranteed.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Let's me and you go for a ride, Otis...

If I were a serial killer I would be Albert Fish.

Albert Fish was a masochistic pedophile obsessed with religious themes such as sin, sacrifice, and redemption through pain.

It is believed that he would force his own children to beat him with a nail studded paddle until he bled. He would also stick nails underneath his finger nails,into his groin, his scrotum and his anus.

He forced himself to eat feces and would stick alcohol soaked cotton balls up his anus and set them on fire.

Fish believed that God wanted him to castrate boys, which he would do over the course of many years, finally to be caught for kidnapping, murdering and eating a 10 year old girl.
Fish claims to have molested over four hundred children. Police charged him with eight but suspect him on fifteen.

Kill count: unconfirmed

Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now!

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Because I'm a hip, happenin' youngster ...and Ethereal told me to

1. What's your name? Carrie

2. How old are you? 23

3. What color are your eyes? Grey (I think..)

4. What is the most sinister thing you've done? Blog

5. Do you take a fancy to sponges? Not especially.

6. If the world was to end tomorrow, who would you sleep with? Probably Tickles. Yeah, either Tickles or a boyscout. troop.

7. Do you know who I am? not really.

8. Mario Lopez (one of the guys from saved by the bell) offers you an obviously fake nickle. Would you take it? Wow. I really had to think about this. I'm not sure why, but I'm leaning toward yes.

9. Do you like to answer questions? Not really, but I'm willing to compromise.

10. What would you do if you were jumped by a gang of weak elderly people? Run.

11.Do you know what happened to Jimmy Hoffa? Yeah, he "disappeared".

12.If I said that I owned an arsenal of weapons, would you believe me? not so much.

13.Is this question unlucky? I hope not.

14.An inu, much like the one found at (In the "Artwork" section, second pic down), offers to sleep with you. Would you accept? I think I'll pass.

15.Many people think that vore (the act of a character devouring overexaggerated amounts of food, an object, or another character) is sick twisted and downright gross. Do you feel the same way? Um, what??

16.Would you make friends with wall paneling? I'm getting tired. I'm going to be lazy and take a break.

17.Do you think it's ok to post child pornography anywhere?

18.Would you make a better sword or an axe? (which would you consider yourself to be?)


20.If someone came up to you and slapped you with a kosher pickle, would you slap them back?

21.Your grandma is very sick and you want to give her a nice gift. Would you give her A.)a flower B.)Exploding candy C.)A puppy D.)A jackhammer E.)Perfectly harmless chocolate, or F.)A heaping plate of Fugu, a Japanese delicacy?

22.A strawberry, much like the ones you find in a store, begins harassing a toddler. Would you laugh?

23.You are being arrested by Bobo, the LA street clown. Would you fight him off?

24.If someone gave you a pet rock named Earl, would you change his name?

25.If yes, what would it be?

26.Would you trade a Nintendo 64 for a Super Nintendo Entertainment System?

27.A butcher is five foot ten inches tall. What does he weigh?

28.Have you ever thrown up on a sumo wrestler who had a bad day?

29.If not, would you?

30.A faceless man begins to talk to you. Would you fear for your life?

31.Do you like breakfast in bed?

32.Spongebob is green. Do you agree?

33.You encounter the tribe of the banana people and they claim you to be their god. Would you devour them right away or melt them with your amazing heat vision?

34.If ever you were accidentally given a check for 100 bazillion dollars, would you make it your life long goal to give it back to its owner or would you go to KB toyz and spend it all in one day?

35.If you were bitten by a deadly spider, would you believe that you had amazing spider abilities?

36.I say potato, you say?

37.Do you think that it would be fun to throw peanuts at an 800 pound gorilla?

38.What do you think would be the most fun to sell on e-bay?

39.Charlie, the eight foot chicken man is knocking at your door. Would you answer it?

40.If you life was a book, what would it be called? The Bible

41.Sliced bread is the greatest invention. Do you agree? This is why I prefer unsliced bread.

42.Will you copy and paste this on your own blog so that other people may have the chance to amuse themselves as well? sure thing.

I'm teaching my nephew to cook

My First Meth Lab

Friday, March 04, 2005

He smellin' hisself. Fa sho.

smellin' hisself

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

This hit goes out to all the times I wish I had one but didn't...

bong hit

Went to pick up that female stem (FINALLY) today to replace the broken one.

After waiting like 15 minutes for the worthless bitch behind the counter to get her fat ass off the phone and get my stem so I could get the fuck out of that shit hole, I came home all excited to fix the bong and wouldn't ya know, it didn't fit. FUCK! Fuck, dude.

So I went back. They don't have the right size stem for my shit, so I had to trade in the one I bought for one that's too small. I've managed to work it out temporarily with a few extra grommets, so all is well.

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