Saturday, February 26, 2005
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
I was gonna leave this alone, but that's just not my style.
This guy is a BlogNazi.
If you've had the misfortune of reading my tasteless blog in the last week, it's possible you've already read this post.
He's got a new 23 year old target. I guess I'm not so special.
Somebody tell me when it became cool to brag your intelligence over the net? And by singling out girls half your age, dedicating blogposts to ridiculing them and encouraging others to join in?
I am no blog saint. I've left a few icky comments here and there when I felt it was warranted.
But I stopped before I felt like I needed to copy and paste the nastiness up here and pat myself on the back over it.
I may think you're a cunt, but I'm not gonna say it here.
And link to you.
That's what comments are for.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Saturday, February 19, 2005
My family and I were just leaving a restaurant in Olympia, Washington two years ago when my uncle asked me to meet a friend of his who lived just south of Olympia in Centralia.
More than a little surprised at the request, I hesitantly agreed to the impromptu trip.
I tried not to think too much about it during the drive, but the longer we were in the car the more I just had to wonder...what the fuck is this all about??
As the car pulled up in front of 203 M Street, I thought my uncle had lost his mind.
My aunt wasn't getting out of the car, but I didn't get off so easy.
Richard Tracy, the creator of this 20 year in the making...uh...dump, is not fond of the name Richard and much prefers to be called RichArt, his self-given name.
My uncle did not prepare me at all for the man he had unleashed upon me.
RichArt wasted no time. He threw his arm uninvitedly around my shoulders, and at that moment I was genuinely afraid.
My eyes pleaded with uncle; he smirked.
I kept thinking, doesn't he realize this man is not well?
I know it may seem paranoid, but I was actually waiting for him to kill us.
I can't honestly recall the things he was saying to me, but it was absolutely ludicrous.
I do remember one thing I found extremely funny.
I was pointing out a red door from a volkswagon beetle he had positioned on the corner of the lot facing the street.
He was overtly pleased that I had noticed one of his favorites, though he was a little conflicted over it.
His wife was unhappy about it being there; it was ruining her view. (!)
You see that picture.
I mean, was she able to see around the rest of this shit?
Then I started to question her very existence.
In 40 minutes I hadn't seen a woman.
Granted, I didn't enter the house.
But really, is there a woman alive who could live with this mess in the yard?
I'm not convinced.
There is a plethora of "shtuff" on display in RichArt's Ruins. Far more than you could take in during a single visit. And he is quite passionate about each piece of it.
Every way you turn more styrofoam statues, welded "animals" and over-head junk mobiles.
As we were leaving I noticed a shrine of half-buried bicycles near the front entrance.
This friendly and eccentric (to put it very, very mildly) man gives tours of his Art Yard and seems to be fixated on the number 5.
If you show up in a group of 5, admittance is free.
You can have a free 5 minute tour or you can "work" for a 55 minute stay.
That's right, he wants you to construct your own contribution to Art Yard. $5 is also accepted in lieu of artwork.
I managed to stay there for more than 40 minutes without even laughing. It could only be because I was so terrified of the man with the death grip on my shoulders.
Now that I know I can get out alive, I am dying to go back and introduce Tickles to my new friend, RichArt.
If you ever find yourself in Centralia, Washington, I definitely urge you to give RichArt 5 minutes of your time. It's an experience not easily forgotten.
RichArt's Art Yard: 203 M Street, I-5 Exit 82 to Harrison Avenue east… Art Yard will be on the left.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Tagged by Tickles
What’s the total number of movies in your collection?
I got the same movies as Tickles, so I’m skipping this one.
What’s the last movie you bought?
I bought him the Friday the 13th Ultimate Edition DVD Collection; From Crystal Lake to Manhattan for Valentine’s Day.
What’s the last movie you watched before reading this message?
The Big Lebowski
Name 5 movies that you watch often, or that mean something to you.
Wow. Tickles really made this hard for me, as we have too many of the same favorites, but I’ll do my best.
1. The Big Lebowski
2. Best In Show
3. History of the World Part 1
4. Johnny Got His Gun
5. Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
The first 5 best movies quote that come into your head?
Uh, well since this is my blog, I've decided 5 just isn't enough for me.
1.“This is not ‘Nam, this is bowling. There are rules.”
–Walter Sobchak, The Big Lebowski
2. “How do you write women so well?”
"Easy. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”
–Melvin Udall and a receptionist, As Good As It Gets
3. “You can imagine where it goes from here.”
"He fixes the cable?”
– Maude Lebowski and The Dude, The Big Lebowski
4. “ I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor, insignificant preamble to somethin' else.”
–Cynthia, Dazed and Confused
5. "This was to be my final hit, but let's be clear about this. There's final hits and final hits. What kind was this to be?"
–Mark “Rent-Boy” Renton, Trainspotting
6. “That’s my mother you’re pissing on”
–Lionel, Dead Alive
7.“Careful, you ham-fisted cunt”
–Julian, Bridget Jones’ Diary
8. “Your mother ate my dog!!”
"Not all of it."
–Paquita and Lionel, Dead Alive
What are you 3 top favorite movies from the 80's?
2. Little Shop of Horrors
What's the first movie you bought?
I have no idea, but I’m sure it was awful.
What’s the first DVD you bought?
I doubt if anyone really reads this shite that hasn't already been up to bat, but I'll pick a couple of the BE members who have me blogmarked for some strange reason.
So suttlteaze, criticaldarling, uklamok, and chelle, (or anyone else, for that matter) have a go if you're up to it.
Touché. Oh wait, that's Douche.
I noticed my list of referring websites showing quite a number of hits from this blog.
Since he took a break during what I'm sure must've been a busy morning at work to donate time and space on his blog, I wanted to make sure you all had the opportunity to read his review of not only blogfart, but yours truly complete with a career assessment.
All pro bono. Thanks Dick, I mean Doc!
I don't really know anything about him because, quite frankly, his blog puts me to sleep. I managed to stay awake for this post however, as I was the only subject.
I am assuming he is one of Michael_the_ArchaicAngel's conservative buddies. Either that or Jesus H. Christ got him all flustered.
At any rate, I really touched him (though not in the way he so desperately needs). At a glance, I didn't see any other blog reviews which I think makes it safe to assume I pissed him right the fuck off.
Oh, and he's not a Kirk Dubb fan either (Sorry Kirk, I guess you can't win 'em all).
Monday, February 14, 2005
The Legend of St. Valentine
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine.
But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday?
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome.
When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers.
Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret.
When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself.
While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement.
Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today.
More about .
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Booze and Madness
Meet Kirk Dubb. Kirk is truly one of the drunkest people I have ever known.
And he's just as proud as he is drunk.
They don't give these awards to just any old lush, Kirk has continuously worked hard to earn his title.
Amazingly enough, drinking is not Kirk's only talent (though it may be the more honed of the two).
With his album, Booze and Madness, Kirk Dubb can make a legitimate claim as hip-hop’s premier Wordsmith to the Wasted.
Pick yourself up a copy today for just $9.99; it's definitely the best beats to get bombed to. He guarantees it.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Have you noticed the newest addition to my sidebar?? I made that shitty little button all by myself, ya'll.
I heard about it from who made a post about Audioscrobbler on his blog today.
He also happens to be my boyfriend/housemate and has been poking this thing down my throat for months now.
I am talking about HIS AUDIOSCROBBLER, you perverts!
So after a long coaxing, I got My Very Own Audioscrobbler and I think you should all have one, too.
Normally, this is where I'd go into detail about how fucking cool the shit is, but I'm feeling a little lazy now. So go visit Tickles because he was a bit more ambitious in his post.
Check it out.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Ever wonder what the H stands for in Jesus H. Christ?
That's right. Jesus Hitler Christ.
Now, most of you probably have never stopped to consider whether or not Jesus and Hitler are one and the same. You probably blindly follow the absurd belief that Jesus was our 'Lord and Savior' and was in no way connected to Hitler, who was an Anti-Semitic imperialistic murdering fuckhead. But I would like you to take a look at the facts before you go on believing this rubbish:
-Jesus and Hitler have never been spotted in the same place.
-Both Jesus and Hitler were carpenters early in their career.
-Both Jesus and Hitler were masters of propaganda.
-Mein Kampf is the sequel to the Bible.
Myth: Jesus was a miracle child, born to a virgin.
Fact: Jesus's mom was a slut and Maury Povich wasn't around to round up the herds of Nomads that she let plow her so she claimed she was a virgin. That bitch.
Myth: Prayers have always ended with the standard amen.
Fact: Prayers were originally concluded with a Heil Jesus! Over time and through translations it was shortened to the now known 'amen'.
NOTE: Before you bombard me with hate mail...I am not the author of this swill, I am simply amused by it. Now that you're informed, bomb away!
Much more fun to be had at Jesus IS Hitler.
Another Favorite Place
You all need to go check out elephantitis of the mind.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
I am what some of you dumbshits might refer to as a "Liberal".
I guess if you're an Archaic hillbilly, that's a dirty, dirty word.
If you are unfamiliar with the REAL meaning of being liberal or conservative, please click either word for clarity.
Some of those "reds" have been making suggestions that "us liberals" need to move to a more suitable country to express our fear inducing views on change.
After all, the definition of a conservative is one who fears change.
I guess they don't realize the US is a (uh-oh) liberal country.
As is Canada and GB.
Perhaps they would be better suited in another region. Maybe the UK?
Monday, February 07, 2005
This is really bothering me, ya'll...
IS THE SOUTHWEST PART OF THE SOUTH, OR NOT???
This has somehow come about, TheDub and I have been discussing regions of the United States and I guess I never put enough thought into why there's no word for the states in the middle of the country.
It's all called "MidWest" even if it's NOT in the middle western part. WTF?? Why doesn't anyone call Illinois "MidEast" or Minnesota "MidNorth" etc.?
And why does Texas not consider itself part of the South? That was news to me, but then I heard someone on tv say it yesterday, and so I know it must be true.
Same show also gave the impression the real South (i.e.: Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi,..you get it) doesn't consider Texas a member either. It's baffling.
Here's Texas, smack in the middle of the southern part of the country, yet they aren't the South? Why are residents of the "SouthEast" the only real Southerners?
So I wrote all this shit then I searched for a map of the US to post here as a visual aid, and came across this census regions map. I guess it's ever so slightly better than the way I am used to seeing it divided, but there is still that whole MidWEST thing... Why not just Central? I mean look how fucking small the East part of the country is. Almost half of the Midwest needs to be considered East. Then look at the whopping undefined West... Something is wrong here, folks.
Damn it. I need defined boundaries here. This is unsettling.
Here's what I do at 2am....
A funny little video depicting the end of the world.
In other news...
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I was born a little late I'm afraid.
You Belong in 1971
If you scored...
1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!
1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.
1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!
1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.
1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!
Saturday, February 05, 2005
A Spoonful of Sugar....
For more than a year I have suffered and gone without, but no more. It is here in all of it's glory and I am completely overwhelmed by it's vastity.
All I can say is, "Sweet cable, I have missed you dearly and I will never again take our love for granted."
And I mean that. If the phone has to be shut off, so be it.
Things have been, well, fucking lame lately.
I'm extra poor right now because that bastard ass job of mine won't let me come back to work until the fucking doctor gives them a slip to say 'Carrie can sit now'.
For the last six and a half weeks I have been gimping around in crippling back pain. I got some steroids and pain killers about a week ago (which I am done with now) and feel hell of a lot better now actually. At least I can walk now, and that's something to smile about.
I am just trying to get back to work so I can get some damn money. Forced onto UNPAID LEAVE! I should quit if I wasn't so unprepared! I am having a bitch of a time getting this release because they think I have some herniated disc (that sounds so ugly) but haven't done any diagnostics and I have seen 4 of them now. ugh.
Meanwhile I am going broke.
Which made it totally obvious. I needed to get cable. I mean I have cable internet, but I'm not supposed to be sitting (guess what I'm doing right now...oops) so what the hell am I gonna do, of course I need to be watching tv damn it.
And I'm not weird, I have nothing at all against subjecting my fragile mind to endless advertisement and trash, I'm just cheap. Those bastards want like $70 for that shit stream I love so whole-heartedly.
What the fuck.
Under 'normal' circumstances I am a full time student working 25-30 hours a week. I bet you can imagine how much time I have to piss away watching Drew Carey re-runs. So there's no way in hell I was gonna pay them for shit I wasn't going to get much use of.
But I've got plenty of time now. And I intend to make gluttonous use of it.