I always knew the bitch was crazy, but damn...

my mom is delirious. I hope this menopause shit wears off quick, yo.

her latest:

mom: "when are you going to make me a grandmother?"
me: "..."
mom: "I'm ready to be a grandma"
me: "you'd better hurry up and have some more kids then, that's not my deal"
mom: "I don't want more children, I want GRANDCHILDREN"
me: "I'm 23, I'm unemployed, I'm still in school, I'm not married, I HATE kids.. and you think I should start shooting babies out of my ass?"
mom: "they don't come out of your ass. And it's really about time you got married"
me: "oh?"
mom: "you two have been living together forever now"
me: "ma, it hasn't even been 2 years."
mom: "well, you guys have been together for, what, 6 or 7 years? You know, I'm counting."
me: "then you can't count for shit; it'll be 5 in september."
mom: "well, you shou.."
me: "mom, just shut up"