I hope god wasn't looking...

the bastard asked for 5 random facts about me.
apparently I interpreted "random" as "twisted".

update: and because fruey of let's have it did not find my mullet to be very rock n roll, he's requested a BONUS RANDOM ROCK N ROLL FACT.

update 2: I changed my mind and I've relieved one lucky blogger of their meming obligations and I'm challenging semi-anonymous commentor jx to pick up the slack (you dont have to link your blog but it'd be cool if you played along in the comments).


1. I got in the backseat of tapeworms car so my best friend could give him a blowjob.


2. I didn't eat rice for like 10 years because I ate some chinese food in my room one time and I put the half eaten plate under my bed and forgot about it for a few weeks and when I found it again all the rice was crawling around on the plate. and I made my mom clean it up.


3. when I was 8 I had a mullet and wore shoes without socks or laces and hypercolor tshirts and fluorescent pink spandex pants like everyday. ugh. I was such an anomaly.


4. I gave my phone number out twice using irc in the school library for the first time. the first caller I could tell was a bit older than myself and polite but whacked off in my ear nonetheless. he called again the next day and after that I told him it was probably best that he not make a habit of it and he agreed to move on.
the second guy was not so easily persuaded. his voice was super nasally and he called several times a day and all he ever wanted to do was talk about my feet and so I'd be like dude, dont call me anymore but he was like "I can tell you have really nice feet and I need to talk to you carrie. please. I love you." and I'd hang up and panic cos I lived with my parents and they woulda killed me if they answered the phone to some creeped out old dude trying to talk to their 14 year old daughter.
I had my friend taya over after school one day and she answered the phone and I knew right away who she was talking to by the sudden change in her voice. I told her to hand me the phone but she ignored me and continued talking. a few seconds later she yelled "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT FOR?!" and I was like oh shit and she said "NO FUCK YOU. CARRIE DOESN'T WEAR PANTIES. WE WEAR UNDERWEAR GODDAMNIT. I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU"
he didn't call anymore after that.


5. me and my friend faye made 2 boys jerk off for meth.


6. tapeworm took me to the paramount to see slayer and I ran into his exgirlfriend having a cigarette in the lobby. she had a ground level wristband and when she found out I was there with him she got all excited about wanting to see him so I let her trade me her wristband :D for my ticket so they could do some catching up and I could try to wedge myself up next to the stage. it totally fucking rocked. some creepy looking guy standing behind me was tying off and I got scared that someone might push him and he'd miss and stab me in the back with his HIV needle so I pushed forward and spent the remainder of the show just far back enough to avoid serious injury. when the show was over I met up with a less than impressed tickles tapeworm outside the front doors. I think he actually smoked a bowl in front of me. like without passing.
in fact, reading this is probably going to piss him off all over again :)


and I'm tagging...
tapeworm, jorell, jx, jennifer
and the FRESHLY IMPREGNATED danielle

thats right!! danielle's knocked up! get over there and send your condolences