Thursday, August 10, 2006

I have not breasts, but creamy white rape invitations!!!!

tapeworm and I met one of his friends for drinks and some woman just invited herself to sit with us and started talking to me about how she had just spent all day driving here and she was a masseuse and she thought I looked like I "needed her" and decided not to ask if i minded her fondling my backside.
I was really trying to be okay about that cos she was drunk and also a professional (???) but then she started kissing the back of my neck and tapeworms friend (who had never met me before) was looking at me like i had invited this dyke freakshow over here to molest me in public. anyhow I felt completely helpless and like anything i said was gonna be a hate crime and i had probably incited all of this by even owning a vagina.

Anonymous Thomas, the Retarded Monkey thinks I am a total genius.

Hehe... somebody might say something about you freakish lesbian magnetism, but then again, somebody might get a verbal kick in the head.

So maybe somebody won't.

Thursday, August 10, 2006 6:33:00 AM  
Blogger Jorell thinks I am a total genius.

i think that you are a gay magnet or a black hole of gayness! you pull in every form of gayness into you.

Thursday, August 10, 2006 12:52:00 PM  
Blogger The Ruler thinks I am a total genius.

Goddamn! Somebody is all over that stating-the-obvious-thing.

And getting verbal kicks to the head. Probably. Or getting an e-Panda.

Thursday, August 10, 2006 4:02:00 PM  
Anonymous nicole thinks I am a total genius.

I didn't know a woman could "own" their vagina. I just kinda thought we had custody of them.

Thursday, August 10, 2006 5:21:00 PM  
Blogger Croaker thinks I am a total genius.

Sweet carrie in spontanious lezbo action!

Friday, August 11, 2006 6:14:00 AM  
Blogger dan thinks I am a total genius.

This old lady started talking to me in a DQ once about her grandkids.

I could probably hook you up if you're interested.

Friday, August 11, 2006 7:27:00 AM  
Blogger raymi lauren thinks I am a total genius.

dude you just described my dream except it was kim cattrall in the shower and i really wanted it??

Friday, August 11, 2006 9:29:00 AM  
Blogger captain_howdy_girl thinks I am a total genius.

that sounds akward... so, did you film this? kidding.

Monday, August 14, 2006 3:38:00 AM  
Blogger x0r thinks I am a total genius.

i just had a dream that i got 52 emails. it freaked me out so much that now i'm wide awake at 4:04am and totally confuesd.

and yes, you /do/ in fact own your body parts. that's why you can file a law suit for personal injury. personal existence and our temporal manifestation is legally binding... Inalienable rights and whatnot. some woemen (porn) have their bodies/bodyparts trademarked. you can also buy and sell body parts on the black market... one of the hottest black market items actually. you own your sperm and eggs and have to sign a waiver if you go to a fertilization clinic.

sadly, carrie, this situation that you discribe is not very uncommon... which isn't that fair (... i'm telling you lol).

people are dumb cause they don't consider awareness of the need to think (our main 1up on every other species/race) as a 'constant presence of mind' thing to be worth a bit of their precious mental expenditure.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 1:24:00 AM  
Blogger Mike thinks I am a total genius.


Wednesday, August 16, 2006 3:55:00 PM  
Blogger TEN33GIRL thinks I am a total genius.

most disturbing about this entire post... the pic. That cow has evil in his eyes....

Thursday, August 17, 2006 2:58:00 AM  
Blogger Leon thinks I am a total genius.

Eww. Weird. Drunk or not, no means no.

Thursday, August 17, 2006 12:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Thomas, the retarded monkey thinks I am a total genius.

Except the times when 'no' means 'yes'. Which are also the times when 'maybe' means 'yes'.

And 'yes' means 'in the butt, please'.

Somebody needs to pay more attention when watching his pr0n.

Friday, August 18, 2006 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger Danielle thinks I am a total genius.

I totally own my vagina. And it's about to be PWNED by a boychild.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 3:22:00 PM  
Blogger DRUNKNMUNKI thinks I am a total genius.

Something rather similar happened to me once.

I was in a club with friends. Behind one of the bars was a large plasma tv. And I was watching it. Now this dude comes right at me from the bar. Gets besides me. Puts his arm around me. And says-

"You wana get out of here?" And then kissed my neck!!!!!

I was alittle freaked but I just said, "no mate I'm not gay. I wasnt eyeing you up I was watching the tv!"

I dont mind men coming upto me. esspecailly now. Cause it's happened a few times, but this gay dude looked like I had torn his arm off.
I actually felt guitly for not being gay. Can yer belive that?!

Friday, August 25, 2006 7:52:00 AM  

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