Saturday, December 24, 2005

"I kick ass for the Lord!"

we waited until sunday to go to tonys and from before we could even get out of the car dude was already being a total sleazebag. plus there were about 3 trees left that were all 9ft tall so we went to target and got a fake one and now all the hippies are congratulating me on boycotting the slaughter of innocent trees.

I still havent decorated it or anything but whatever.

last night tapeworm and I went to dinner with my parents and his mom and I ended up starting a huge fight in the middle of the restaurant.

about half way through our meal some dude who looked like he spent more time on his hair than I did sat down like 2 tables away with his back facing us and repeatedly turned his entire body around in his seat to glare at my mom (who had made a comment about dentures. true, not something I consider appropriate "dinner conversation" either, but I also don't find eavesdropping and staring very polite). so I flashed him the warning look but he decided to press his luck.

several minutes later his (I'm assuming) girlfriend showed up and before long she joined in and the two of them were making no attempts at discretion. their conversation became louder. other people at my table had begun to notice them and I'd had enough so I looked over at them and I said "do you have something you want to say to me?" and she tried to get smart so I called her a raggedy ass cunt (hehehh) and that totally set her boyfriend off.

he got up and started coming toward our table so I stood up and I was back farthest to the wall trying to climb over tapeworm yelling "come outside then motherfucker!" and my dad was trying to push me back into my seat and the guy was like I'm not gonna fight you and I was like "then what the fuck are you standing up for?"

dude tried to get up in tapeworms face and tapeworm told him to sit down and eat his food. and thats exactly what he did.

I never actually got to hit anyone but it wasn't for lack of trying damnit. I figgered everyone was gonna be mad at me after we left but they still left me presents and my mom even thanked me for the dinner theatre :D

Blogger Laurie thinks I am a total genius.

I really needed to read that this morning... thanks for the chuckle and Merry Christmas, Carrie!

Dinner theatre - I love it.

Sunday, December 25, 2005 7:29:00 AM  
Blogger Danielle thinks I am a total genius.

Merry Christmas to you and Tickles too! Whoah.. I just thought that this was the first Christmas that I haven't had a drop to drink. Weird. That story was awesome. We would have SO much fun... you would be a great influence on me.. there's the one girl.. if I ever see her again, I want you to be with me! I'll blog about my experiences later...I have to get to bed soon @-)

Sunday, December 25, 2005 8:40:00 PM  
Blogger Eric thinks I am a total genius.

Good job!!! Motherfuckers like that need a good pounding every once and a while. Standing up for yer peeps!! Next time do a door kknob job on his stones.. that'll shut the fucker up!!

Sunday, December 25, 2005 9:32:00 PM  
Blogger dan thinks I am a total genius.

If someone's a raggedy ass cunt, they're a raggedy ass cunt.

Keep calling it like it is.

Monday, December 26, 2005 5:23:00 PM  
Blogger nicole thinks I am a total genius.

Dude, you are my hero. Nosy pricks in restaurants SO piss me off. I hereby officially declare this, December 26th, "Carrie Day" for all time to come!

Monday, December 26, 2005 6:00:00 PM  
Blogger captain_howdy_girl thinks I am a total genius.

another great story carrie. lovin your tree. my mother went on a big tangent about how she hates to see trees die, while sitting in her wooden chair in front of her wooden buffet beside the wooden chin cabinet.

Monday, December 26, 2005 6:14:00 PM  
Blogger nick thinks I am a total genius.

i would've loved to have been sitting in that restaurant.

Monday, December 26, 2005 11:33:00 PM  
Blogger :P fuzzbox thinks I am a total genius.

I loved the pic with the Blue Ribbon Beer on the tree. I never realized how brightly colored this brand is.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005 4:35:00 AM  
Blogger mrshellonheels thinks I am a total genius.

Did you toilet paper your tree??

Tuesday, December 27, 2005 11:12:00 PM  
Blogger Walking Wounded thinks I am a total genius.

"Deck the halls with PBR and TP, fa la la la la, la la la la!" LOL Awesome!

Peace

Wednesday, December 28, 2005 2:14:00 AM  
Anonymous jx thinks I am a total genius.

Once I was outside a bar, waiting with friends to decide what to do next when all of the sudden some dude calls me Fattie! Now, I am by no means "skinny", but just a bit chubby, not fat! (I can still wear juniors jeans man!) anyway, I walked right up to him very calmly in his face and said "What did you just call me?" He said it again and I proceeded to punch him. His friend then got in between us to hold me off, meanwhile he was still saying it, over and over again! It was horrible, but I got a few more swings to the head in before my friends dragged me back. What a fucking asshole. Sometimes I hate the general public because shit like this happens to nice people.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005 11:19:00 AM  
Blogger Mister Hand thinks I am a total genius.

"I kick arse for the Lord!"

That's from DEAD ALIVE. Love that movie.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005 1:08:00 PM  
Blogger x0r thinks I am a total genius.

gore-geous. my friend joey used budweiser cans... LOL.
all hail the beer can tree.
i miss you two.

Saturday, December 31, 2005 12:46:00 AM  
Blogger carrie thinks I am a total genius.

laurie- thank you! :)

danielle- hell yeah dude >:) getcha stabb on..

eric- hehe..thank you :) shit..if I coulda got a little closer! my fucking dad :(

dan- hehehh.. I try :p

nicole- :O WHOA!! awesome! thank you :D

captain- ahahah!! aww.. did you pee all over her parade?
thank you :)

nick- hahah!! fuck I'd have probably gotten pissed and started some shit with me :p

:p fuzzbox- pbr is quite festive :) thanks

mrshellonheels- I did :D
I was in school up until the week before christmas and I was feeling too lazy to pull out all the ornaments. plus it gave me a good place to put all the beer cans laying around :p

walking wounded- hehe.. thank you :)

jx- this is why I dont own firearms :D
I beat a guy over the head once with a glass bottle about 15 times because he said "what are you gonna do about it?"
had I been able to destroy him at the pull of a trigger I'd be in prison right now

mister hand- you officially fucking ROCK :D
I love dead alive. your name creeps me out (ENUMCLAW :O)

xor- thank you :)
I KNOW!! we were just talking about you today. you're never on anymore :(
that evil game, huh?
well, I still suck. say hi sometime when you get the chance

Saturday, December 31, 2005 2:19:00 AM  
Blogger raymi lauren thinks I am a total genius.

i can get psycho angry super fast at people who get snarky with me.

Saturday, December 31, 2005 4:39:00 PM  

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