do you look like that because yer a lesbian or are you a lesbian cos you look like that

tapeworm is a total phlegmtard. every morning i can hear him in the shower trying to hork up his infection and i am always finding little chunks of mucous spittle on the shower curtain and it makes me gag. the first time i tried shaving i shaved off the back of my ankle or whatever the part that has wrinkles if you dont flex your foot. i completely freaked out cos there was blood everywhere all over the bottom of the tub mixing with the water and it looked like i was bleeding to death. also one time i fell in the shower and scraped my entire back with the faucet thing. that sucked.

ugh my cousin is back to being a dyke again all her girlfriends look like boys and i dont get it cos shes not that ugly im sure she could find a nice boy to love her despite her abdominal protrusions. well she tried to blog about liking boys and also had a fake boyfriend for awhile to try an fool me and it worked for a time until i saw some interestingly dykish comments on a few of her myspace pics an decided to have a look at this commentor and did not make it halfway down the page until i saw a message from my retardid little relative saying "im not out to family yet so dont leave me any comments about being a lesbian k" obvs genius does not run in the family.

iguana scrotum

AHAHAHAH!!!!! omfg better than dog puke

now 38% improved!! >:)

Get Your Own Voice PlayerManage

7 percent of our communications is what we say, 38 percent is the way we say it — rate, tone and inflection — and 55 percent is our body language before, during and after we say it

now call 1(641)985-7800 and enter *828889 an make me some comments bitches

monotony monogamy

"show me the most beautiful girl in the world, and I'll show you a guy who's tired of sleeping with her

rather crass, i think, but true. not just for men, but for women too. and it's not just that we tire of each other, we keep getting interested in the other items on the menu.

because let's face it, marriage is an unnatural state. the notion of staying intimate with one person for the rest of your life is akin to, say, being able to eat one kind of sandwich for the rest of your life. imagine that? tell me you wouldn't be leaning over the counter, looking at the day's special, wondering, 'wouldn't it be great if I could try that smoked turkey on rye?'" -dan cronin

CRIKEY!!!!!!!!!!

dont read this

when I was 6 my neighbor used to babysit this girl sometimes that was my age and she only had one real eye an the other one was glass. she would throw fits when she didnt get her way and pop out the glass eyeball. one time we were in the yard playing and she was sposed to come in for lunch but she didnt want to so she popped the eye out in the grass and acted like she couldn't find it so everyone had to stop an dig thru the grass to find her eye.

pioneer square

a guided tour thru seattles drinking/historical district

hi.my cousin tonya was found dead in a motel room after about 3 days of decomposition. needle still stuck in her arm. my mom says she can always tell when im not doing good cos i wont call her. i think its funny cos she has it completely backward; i only call her on the rare occasion things are really shitty and i've got no one else to talk to.

fear the walrus

i used to work with a girl named michael lynn on the beach and she was a dyke because she would always make me hafta do the really fucked up shit like talk to the customers an sanitize things and she thot she should just get to stand around frothing milk and gaining weight and i do not particularly like talking to people especially michael lynn so one time i put a lot of salt in her coffee and she actually quit over it. but after that i got to froth lots of milk and also talk to customers and clean everything cos they always hire pastry thieving lesbians to work at coffee shops and the new girl was to be no different.

haha no one is gonna click this huh. fuckers

I have not breasts, but creamy white rape invitations!!!!

tapeworm and I met one of his friends for drinks and some woman just invited herself to sit with us and started talking to me about how she had just spent all day driving here and she was a masseuse and she thought I looked like I "needed her" and decided not to ask if i minded her fondling my backside.
I was really trying to be okay about that cos she was drunk and also a professional (???) but then she started kissing the back of my neck and tapeworms friend (who had never met me before) was looking at me like i had invited this dyke freakshow over here to molest me in public. anyhow I felt completely helpless and like anything i said was gonna be a hate crime and i had probably incited all of this by even owning a vagina.

my lover is your mother

my uncle hung himself yesterday. I was supposed to go to tacoma to see my family but I'm hiding instead cos i just dont wanna. this is the second of my dad's brothers to kill himself. I was 14 when the first one died and I went to stay with my family in spokane for the week and my cousin chris told me that our cousin dj, whose father had just died, was actually our uncle. I was like psshhhhh whatever and he said "no really, grandpa fucked dj's mom" and I was like SHUT UP my grandpa did NOT sleep with his sons wife okay..
and i told my mom that chris was a liar and I didn't like him anymore and she was like what happened so I told her what he said and she was just quiet. I said NUH UHHHHH what kind of father fucking family have you brought me into?????? and you've left me alone with these pederasts :O what are we mormons???!!!!!!!!! how could you just not mention something like that.. but she didn't really think it was anything to get all excited over :|



is it really just my family thats so fucked or am I'm just the only one dumb enough to talk about it.

slut blog

tapeworm and I are leaving each other for the same woman.
I know she wants me tho ;)
..right after iggy pop and some guy from texas,
but thats alright cos I dig leftovers.
besides, he will ignore you for video games - I will at least give you a turn. eh? who loves ya?

tix did not work today (again!!) so I made him try yoga (again!!)
..he is not so pliable really :(
I thought yoga was for everyone but even the modifications make him scream.


my mom likes to call me and gossip about everyone she knows and then make friends with them again and tell them everything I said about them while she was upset. also, she is referring to tapeworm as my "roommate" now??? unfortunately my parents were serious about moving back here. they've already bought some tiny house by my grandpa with a bathroom half the size of the one in my apartment you pretty much have to pee in the shower and wash your hands in the toilet. but they don't care cos at least they'll be living within 40 miles of a grocery store again. ..oh, and me :S

filial cannibalism

before we were together, tapeworm took me and helen to a party for some dude he worked with and jacque found out about it and called tapeworm to ask why she hadn't been invited and he said, "cos I didn't want you to act like a slut and embarrass me."

when jacque was 12, her mom cut her a line and told her to do it. or they'd never be close. her stepdad was a former alcoholic/child molester, all crazy into the 12 step thing and they hid everything from him but I'm sure he had to know something was going on when no one ever slept and her mom blew glass 16 hours a day. jacque thought he was watching her through a hole in her bedroom wall. he had been convicted of sexual abuse of his daughter; the same girl jacque and her oldest brother were sleeping with. I met jacque in 1997, I was 15 and soon after that I was going to her house after school to buy dope from her mom. just like the rest of her friends.

she had to be the center of everyones attention and seldom was. the year we met we both unknowingly liked the same boy, derek. he rode her bus and one day he told her he was into me and she flipped out and tried to hit me over it. she said she knew it wasn't my fault, but she was still mad.

when jacque had a bad day at school, her mom cut her a line and told her she was too sensitive. jacque said she vaguely remembered her mom molesting her as a young girl. her 8 year old brother came to stay 2 weekends a month and she wondered if her mom was molesting him now, too.

jacque said she was afraid to quit, cos she knew that meant she wouldn't have a mom anymore. I tried to tell her that she didn't have one as it was.