Saturday, September 10, 2005

skills: essing the dee

I'm not one to go offering advice, nor do I suggest you heed anything I may propose, but what I will say is STOP WHINING.
thats aimed at no one in particular BUT if it speaks to you, then listen.

yesterday I was at trader joes picking up some 3 buck chuck and my bra started itching me really bad so I tried to adjust it but ended up pinching my boob really hard and I almost cried.
but I got some blue jalepeƱo cornbread and a bottle of grey goose which I plan to make acquaintance with very shortly.

barker must've gotten some weed of his own cos he hasn't called in a bit. he and his wife bought a house with his husband-in-law like 2 years ago and he's all pissy cos we havent come over yet. I don't like his wife. the bitch is mean and she got even worse after she found out we call her jenbison and tell everyone bob fucks her brother. pfft. like its not obvious.
tapeworm tried to warn bob not to marry her cos shes super old and has bad credit. plus they'd never even lived together, but bob went and told her. haha..whoops. all the sudden she shows up to the house with beer trying to kiss ass. last time I saw her she was bitching about how much bob spent on her ring and how he'd stuck them in that house for the next 10 years.
see why you shouldn't rush into marriage? it sucks.

the fair started today but I think I'm gonna give them the weekend to get a feel for the fryers. I don't want any half ass funnel cake, y'know.

10 comments:

Nick said...

What the hell is a husband-in-law? That's crazy speak.

The Prynce said...

Nothing's hotter than a woman saying 'boob'. It helps if she's mad attractive to begin with, but... yeah.

Whining was almost the death of my current relationship. I was whined to/at for over a year straight but now she just pretends she's "trying to tell me" something while blatently whining, lol.

nick - I think she's just coined a term that is someone who fucks or is fucked by their brother-in-law.

"Me... I'll never get married. Never get married!"
Ok so that may not be true. I just like that song... lol.
I've got to find someone fucking AMAZING before I could even consider marrying them. I've only ever known two people that I'd ever even think about marrying.

-=The Prynce

The Prynce said...

Ah. I forgot to ask. Is Grey Goose all that good? I've heard its a great vodka.

I'm all about cheap liqour and MD 20/20 and shit like that. I like to feel like a cheap wino.
I'm like "Jose Cuervo? No no... Pepe Lopez."

Have you had Skorpio? Is it any good?

Hooray fer vodka!

-=The Prynce

Shy said...

mmmmmmmmmmm vodka. *drools like homer simpson

Tickles_Tapeworm said...

Mad Dog is straight up nasty. Just nasty. I made a Mad Dog slurpee once. Once.

I wonder what the real story on Bob and Jenbison is. I mean, she has to know. Everyone who's ever spent more than 30 seconds around Bob knows.

You know, I've never seen her and her brother at the same time...

Rich Rosenthal II said...

Mad dog 20/20 original red wine. gads I'm having flashbacks just thinking about it.

A good all booze vodka drink is to pour it on he rocks in a short glass with equal parts of your favorite shnaaps (though pucker style shnaaps are best for masking the flavor). To make it easier on the stomach and the booze last longer only do a shot or 2 both alcohols and top the glass off with sprite or 7up.

carrie said...

fruey- well, it was only one of them, and saying "tit" singularly reminds me of "teat" which makes me think of barnyard animals and I think you can imagine why I don't like to make that association :) besides, I'm not all dirtbag all the time.
I'm a real nice girl. pissfuckcuntshit.

I just wish there was a way to allow "other" and not "anonymous". unfortunately its a package deal.

nick- heh. prynce answered your question. crazy indeed :|

prynce- yes boob is the preferred term :p
whining is lame, I won't tolerate it cos it makes me wanna rip out my hair. my mom never allowed whining so I really have no tolerance for it.
I don't think I'll ever get married. I see no reason for it, at least not at this point.

xor444- hehe..thanks. it sucked a lot. and I'm also sorry to hear about your boob. I think I'd prolly try to squeeze off a titty if I saw a sweet ninja too. your walgreens sounds a lot cooler than mine.

prynce- grey goose is the shiznik. I dig the cheap watermelon flavored vodka too tho. with some pink lemonade, mmmm...
but if I'm serious about drinking then its gonna be some belvedere or the goose. straight up.
tapeworms all about tequila. I used to love it but I tried to keep up on the shooters one cinco de mayo and got hella sickly at vajohnnas place. ick. imagine being all spinning drunk and having to yakk with your face like 6" from a toilet shared by 12 dirty scumbag dudes that prolly don't even shower once a week. now the smell of tequila alone makes me gag.
never even heard of skorpio. is it vodka? hmmm...

shy- I concur :p~

tapeworm- I don't think I've ever had mad dog. is it malt liquor?

omg..it IS her. she is her own brother! fuck, I don't know why I had never thought of that. this is even more compelling than the jesus/hitler evidence.

unfuel the planet said...

nice to listen to a shift in ur attitute for a change

The Prynce said...

Tickles - FUCK YOU!
Actually, yeah... it is nasty. lol. If you've had any good wine, liqour or beer within a year of drinking it it can be kinda icky.
But there's some melon flavored kind now that's really good.

How'd you make that? I accidentally froze a bottle of it at the beach once before and it got sort of slushy and it was pretty good.

Carrie - Boob is great.
I'm constantly being whined at/to but it's called 'discussing' or some shit.
I'm not anti-marriage, I'm just anti-losing my soul.

My favorite flavored vodka is coconut. I haven't tried many though. I had some bud flavored vodka once, though. Someone poured me a shot and I was too drunk to remember and I saw a partially burnted M&M sized bit of weed in the shot glass a few hours later and I drank it and I must say, it was a nice flavor.

Tequila has a nice flavor and I feel great with it it's just that it's not a friendly liqour. I want some though... And a Tequila Sunrise with fresh OJ... That's Jesus in a glass, woman!

Skorpio is a cool looking Vodka with a scorpion in the bottle like the worm in tequila. It's a beautiful bottle at the very least. It's a little pricy though so I haven't tried it. I'll try to find a picture.

And Mad Dog is a really cheap wine. I've made prison hooch with canned peaches and bread that tasted similar.

Everyone - Cream Soda and Brandy - Have one of the other chilled. Mix to taste. It's good with a little cream soda or a lot. I call it "Dripping Wet Brandy".

-=The Prynce

Shy said...

common now. vodka is best with a splash of cranberry juice.
also aids in preventing uti's....the more you know.