Thursday, September 01, 2005

emcee reverend doctor black jesus

my sink has been gurgling lately. I don't even want to think about what that could mean. I just hope it doesn't involve having the maintenance guy up here. he creeps me out. last time I had to have him up here my bathroom fan was off balance and he came by unannouced and knocked as he was opening the door and I had no clothes on. all I could do was scream and I haven't really wanted to call for maintenance ever since. besides, I'd have to *gasp* clean my apartment. hehehh. I could prolly get evicted for the condition of this place. I'm sure it must be a fire hazard at the least.

this dude I call dirty john/vajohnna had a party at his place and the cops showed up cos everyone was out on the lawn and being loud and shit cos his house is so ganked. but I was 16 and the only one under 21, so I ran into the bathroom to hide and luckily they didn't go looking. it seemed like they stayed for half an hour and I could hear them out there talking about the man show. and I was like, "what the..?? dude, I'm not that fucked up". but I guess they were cool. they carded everyone else in the house and told john that if the fire department ever showed up he'd be in deep shit.

jacque and I cleaned his house once for a pack of cigarettes. well, jacque cleaned it anyway. but I still got smokes, so whatever.
he lived with a bunch of scumbag dudes who never slept and some girl who worked at the texaco used to let them steal shit. one of them said that when he's coming down, he clips his toe nails and smokes them, cos he thinks thats where it all ends up.
and they had a "broom" made out of a poolstick and a carpet square.
...or maybe that was a mop.

Anonymous Shannon thinks I am a total genius.

Who's foot? lol

Friday, September 09, 2005 5:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Tickles_Tapeworm thinks I am a total genius.

well, it's no one actually. But if you like you can pretend it belonged to Sonny, Spoony Joe, Gabe-oy aka Pizza the Hutt, Greg Lougayness, Nerdlips aka Cheeks, Gay Chad, Black Levi...

If that was VaJohnna's foot, it would be a hell of a lot more hairy.

Friday, September 09, 2005 6:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Croaker thinks I am a total genius.

So the key to seeing Carrie naked is to drop by unannouced to fix the sink. Got it! Do I need to bring my plumbers crack, street crack or a wise crack?


Friday, September 09, 2005 6:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Danielle thinks I am a total genius.

That made me think of something. When I worked at a hotel once, I forgot to tell the computer that this one room was checked in already. When this dude came to check into the hotel, the computer gave me that same room, I checked him in, and a few minutes later, he came down yelling that he had just walked into a room and saw this dude fucking his prostitute, g/f, wife, or whatever.

Friday, September 09, 2005 6:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Shannon thinks I am a total genius.

Its got a yellow nail. lol eww

Friday, September 09, 2005 6:05:00 PM  
Anonymous The Prynce thinks I am a total genius.

It means there's a hobbit down there. Give him some fuckin' air!

Give the guy a break. Who could resist the temptation of you apparently lounging nude? lol. But did he leave right away or just get to work?

Toenail smoking... Yick. I'm gonna use that to diss people now though. Fuckin' toenail smokers.

-=The Prynce

Friday, September 09, 2005 6:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Rich Rosenthal II thinks I am a total genius.

Smoke my toe nail fungus Ewwww!

Friday, September 09, 2005 6:07:00 PM  
Blogger carrie thinks I am a total genius.

croaker- yes, that is one way of going about it. I suppose it would depend on what you hoped to accomplish. if you're looking to get some, I'd suggest bringing the street crack ;) I'm a sophisticated ho.

danielle- you should have made him pay extra for the show. nothings free, y'know.

shannon- might be focusing on the wrong part of the post.

prynce- fucking hobbits. thanks.
I am so scared of midgety things its prolly gonna be a week until I'm able to go in the kitchen alone.
ewww...hes like 60! I made him wait outside until I was dressed and then he fixed the fan :)
haha..yeah, I thought he was kidding about that, but he really does smoke his toenails. they used to tell people not to pass out with their shoes off cos he might try to steal em while yer sleeping.

rich- damn. you been smokin'. I bet you could get high for days off that.

Friday, September 09, 2005 6:08:00 PM  
Anonymous trish thinks I am a total genius.

man! ive heard of ppl smoking dried cow poop. said it keeps ya high longer...hmm?

Saturday, September 10, 2005 4:13:00 AM  
Blogger carrie thinks I am a total genius.

uh...trish, I'm starting to wonder what you've been smoking...

Saturday, September 10, 2005 4:14:00 AM  

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