Monday, September 12, 2005

he bite me in my vagina

bitch do I come down to cracky d's and slap the cheeseburger out your mouth?

tapeworm is still sleeping and I am ready to go to the damn fair already. I am a funnel cake fiend. I crave the hot greasy love batter and I will accept no substitutes!
my god..I can almost taste the heartattack..
I'm gonna flash some carnies and get some free shit (yes, I'm really that shallow). I'll be the only girl there who isn't pushing 350 lbs a stroller so I can't lose ;)

I opened a can of mandarin oranges today from 1988.
I only ate 3 of them before I decided they looked kind of funny. but they tasted alright. I still have about 15 cans of them and I'm not sure but I might just take the plunge.

its jennifer wk's birthday today.
she is currently the #2 most bangable blog babe on the whole web and you should go wish her a happy 25th cos she rocks.

Blogger Rich Rosenthal II thinks I am a total genius.

carnies like boobies too. (who doesn't)

Monday, September 12, 2005 9:17:00 PM  
Anonymous CaptainJeff thinks I am a total genius.

I think you maybe shouldn't eat the mandarin oranges... Mandarin oranges are known to cause high blood pressure in wombats as it is... and aged ones... holy shit, as you say...

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 12:32:00 AM  
Anonymous CaptainJeff thinks I am a total genius.

Oh... and since i assumed i could vote BlogAdvance in your little poll... i came here from BlogAdvance...

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 12:34:00 AM  
Blogger Jorell thinks I am a total genius.

carrie i was right you are 100% dumbass:P i still love you like a sister tho...a very odd sister that might of been droped on the floor head first..:D

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 1:13:00 AM  
Blogger Croaker thinks I am a total genius.

Look at Carrie ranked over on the BotB's new system. Who says having a potty mouth doesn't pay. ;)

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 10:05:00 AM  
Blogger carrie thinks I am a total genius.

H(o)(o)ray for b(o)(o)bies!
..tho I didn't much care for circus boobs.

captainjeff- oh snap! I fixed the poll, thanks for reminding me.

even tho I'm not really a wombat, I think you've convinced me the oranges are a prolly not a good idea. I suppose the only thing I should really consume from 1988 is wine.

jorell- dork :p

croaker- :-O
OMG.. I had no idea.
I was not expecting this...
first, I'd like to thank all the little people who voted for me, cos without your pity, I wouldn't be on that prestigious list.
to tickles tapeworm who sometimes votes against me- HA! I fucking win you cunt! (oh, can I say cunt here? I'm sorry) to the rest of you haters who said it couldn't be done- may you all get the cancer :)
thank you, thank you.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 11:10:00 AM  
Blogger The 10 of Clubs thinks I am a total genius.

Canned mandarin oranges???!!!
How come I don't see those in my supermarket? Hell I can get fresh ones :P

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 2:26:00 PM  
Blogger Dave thinks I am a total genius.

This is a geekass question, but: thoughts on xanga?

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 6:27:00 PM  
Blogger carrie thinks I am a total genius.

10 of clubs- well they're obviously not a "new" thing, as my can clearly shows :p
I've never had trouble finding them canned, but the fresh ones are seasonal.

dave- nigga, do you go up to mcdonalds asking about the whopper?
haha..just playing.
hmmm..personally I don't care for xanga. I have an account with them simply because I can't comment on xanga blogs without one. in my opinion, free blog services don't get any better than blogger.
I do like buzznet, but its not really an alternative for a blog, its more like a picture journal.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 7:53:00 PM  
Blogger Dave thinks I am a total genius.

i was hoping for something more scathing becuase my friend ryan has one and i wanted to build myself up by ridiculing him.
still, this blog give me a 4-D boner

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 8:41:00 PM  
Blogger Jennifer thinks I am a total genius.

Thanks for the birthday note! You made me feel so special-i-fied. :^)

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 10:32:00 PM  
Blogger Clublint thinks I am a total genius.

For the love of god do NOT eat the oranges. There's a use by date for a REASON.

Give them to Tickles.


Wednesday, September 14, 2005 12:38:00 AM  
Blogger Tickles_Tapeworm thinks I am a total genius.

Give em to who? :P

The funny thing is, she has to eat like all ten cans she bought too :P

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 3:12:00 AM  
Blogger Rob thinks I am a total genius.

make jello with them. Yummy!

The way I see it. If the can isn't bloated, and there is no dents, then it's fair game for my mouth.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 5:32:00 AM  
Blogger Dr. Fil thinks I am a total genius.

Oh my god I just read about the blog-deleting thing from Tickle's blog. God I don't know what I would do if someone deleted my blog. That was mean. She is mean.

Dr. Fil

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 12:35:00 PM  
Blogger The Prynce thinks I am a total genius.

I know I've said "Nothing's hotter than..." on your blog many times, but nothing is hotter than eating canned oranges from the 80's. They were canned before the Berlin wall fell...

Who bit you in the vagina? Lucky bloke... lol.

Make wine out of the oranges. If you dunno how and you wanna give it a go, I'll tell you. You probably have all the shit you need right now.

-=The Prynce

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 8:02:00 PM  
Blogger jane thinks I am a total genius.

I think the 1988 on those oranges means the year they were copyrighted. there should be a stamped date on them somewhere. if you can't find that DONT EAT THEM! you don't eat even canned food that is almost 20 fucking years old carrie!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 10:51:00 PM  
Blogger carrie thinks I am a total genius.

dave- sorry, I try not to use stuff that sucks so I don't have much experience with them.
and I have no clue what 4-d is, but thanks. I think ;)

jennifer-'re welcome :) glad to hear it was a good one

deb- yes, lets kill him! >:)

tapeworm- deb and I have agreed to kill you :P
I'll eat those oranges but you're gonna have to clean up the mess.

rob- mmmm..jello :p~
y'know I was kinda thinking the same thing.. how bad can they be?! the cans are still okay and wouldn't 20 year old fruit look bad or smell bad or taste bad? its probably not even real fruit to begin with, so whats to worry about?

dr fil- well, first you'd prolly write to blogger and ask them to restore your blog. then hopefully you'd have a wonderful boyfriend to call bullshit on the losers that tried to fuck with you.

prynce- hahahah..well, its a pretty good way to start a comment. however, theres been hotter things. trust me ;) but like I said, they weren't really bad or anything. at least not in low doses. I ate 3 and I'm fine. I thought they looked a little funny cos of some white specks but today I had a can that says its okay til 2007 and they looked pretty much the same as the 20 year old ones. so I'm not entirely convinced they shouldn't be eaten. I'm going back and forth about it.

I'm guessing you haven't seen this video.

I'll try some homemade wine. go ahead and email it if you want. or post it here, either way.

jane- I'm thinking you might be right. there is something stamped on the top of the can, but none of it looks like a date, or if it is, its a code I don't know.
the health department always said "when in doubt..throw it out".
now I just have to decide whether I want to risk the possible dysentery if I'm wrong.
I'm sure I've eaten worse things than 20 year old fruit ;)

Thursday, September 15, 2005 3:39:00 AM  
Blogger The Prynce thinks I am a total genius.

I actually just dtopped back by your blog to say the same thing that Jane said. That's probably the case. If so, they must be kind of committed to that label, though, to not make any changes in nearly 20 years, lol.

Hotter than eating 17 year old oranges? I'd love to see that!

I once (recently) found a can of tuna in my cabinet and it looked pretty old but my house was bare of food, minus the tuna. I couldn't find a date on it so I went to the website for Starkist Tuna (I love going to sites for food products that have no reason for having websites) and they actually had a little guide on there on how to make an approximate expiration date by using the codes stamped into the can lid.

Turns out the tuna probably wasn't past its date yet, but it was really close to it. It may have been, but I ate it anyway. I would probably have eaten it even if it was past its date.
I was hungry.

I'll post the instructions either on my blog, on here, or just email 'em to ya. I'll probably do it later tonight. I'll also include a little explaination on how to make a still for distilling wines and mashes into liqour, but keep in mind that it's illegal to actually distill liqours, lol. Wine and beer are legal, though.

-=The Prynce

Thursday, September 15, 2005 4:40:00 PM  
Blogger RockFromDot thinks I am a total genius.

that video is the bestest, the absolute bestest video ever...still laughin..."i don't want him to bite him in the penis"

Friday, September 16, 2005 10:34:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous thinks I am a total genius.

thats gnarly..

Saturday, September 17, 2005 4:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous thinks I am a total genius.

very gnarly...

Hookah Forum

Saturday, September 17, 2005 4:07:00 PM  
Blogger x0r thinks I am a total genius.

umm... i did something rather out of but yet, if you really knew me well, quite /in/ character and wished Jennifer W.K. a happy birthday since i just celebrated my big two five in an amazing flash of extroversion.

i am sick with sinus shit so i'm going to be short-winded.

Sunday, September 18, 2005 12:36:00 AM  

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