slut blog

tapeworm and I are leaving each other for the same woman.
I know she wants me tho ;)
..right after iggy pop and some guy from texas,
but thats alright cos I dig leftovers.
besides, he will ignore you for video games - I will at least give you a turn. eh? who loves ya?

tix did not work today (again!!) so I made him try yoga (again!!)
..he is not so pliable really :(
I thought yoga was for everyone but even the modifications make him scream.


my mom likes to call me and gossip about everyone she knows and then make friends with them again and tell them everything I said about them while she was upset. also, she is referring to tapeworm as my "roommate" now??? unfortunately my parents were serious about moving back here. they've already bought some tiny house by my grandpa with a bathroom half the size of the one in my apartment you pretty much have to pee in the shower and wash your hands in the toilet. but they don't care cos at least they'll be living within 40 miles of a grocery store again. ..oh, and me :S

filial cannibalism

before we were together, tapeworm took me and helen to a party for some dude he worked with and jacque found out about it and called tapeworm to ask why she hadn't been invited and he said, "cos I didn't want you to act like a slut and embarrass me."

when jacque was 12, her mom cut her a line and told her to do it. or they'd never be close. her stepdad was a former alcoholic/child molester, all crazy into the 12 step thing and they hid everything from him but I'm sure he had to know something was going on when no one ever slept and her mom blew glass 16 hours a day. jacque thought he was watching her through a hole in her bedroom wall. he had been convicted of sexual abuse of his daughter; the same girl jacque and her oldest brother were sleeping with. I met jacque in 1997, I was 15 and soon after that I was going to her house after school to buy dope from her mom. just like the rest of her friends.

she had to be the center of everyones attention and seldom was. the year we met we both unknowingly liked the same boy, derek. he rode her bus and one day he told her he was into me and she flipped out and tried to hit me over it. she said she knew it wasn't my fault, but she was still mad.

when jacque had a bad day at school, her mom cut her a line and told her she was too sensitive. jacque said she vaguely remembered her mom molesting her as a young girl. her 8 year old brother came to stay 2 weekends a month and she wondered if her mom was molesting him now, too.

jacque said she was afraid to quit, cos she knew that meant she wouldn't have a mom anymore. I tried to tell her that she didn't have one as it was.

the alienation blog

today one of the extra special helpers bagged all my groceries and apparently he thought the bottom of the bag was a good place for my bananas so when I got home they were all mashed up in the bottom getting my cereal icky.
okay story time: my first job was at godfathers pizza and after about 3 weeks of being there I got stuck cooking for the lunch time and all my drivers were out and there was just me an the retarded guy to cover the phones, dining area, cash register and kitchen. ..yeah.
I was totally all up in a panic trying to keep the lunch buffet happy and take call in orders and fucking keep shit moving and suddenly dork boy comes up to tell me that someone left the sink on in the mens room.
and I was like okay well start mopping it up then.
after a few mins there was water rushing into the kitchen under the door and so i went back there and he was literally just pacing in front of the door to the mens room and he hadnt even turned off the water or taken out the fucking wad of paper towels some rancid little shit shoved in there. ugh. I think hiring retards is, well, retarded.

the guy across the street is a total mouth breather. he was homeschooled and has like zero social skills. you would think I could relate, but no; we don't get along. plus he lives with his sister. shes an epileptic painter and wears extraordinarily unflattering dresses made of clingy stretch material with mens socks and tennis shoes.
..no, I don't have a point.

pincushion

somebody asked me if I was on drugs today.
hehehh. is it that obvious?

when I was in highschool I dated this dude named ky (like kyle) whose dad passed him around to all his friends as a young boy and he was super fucked up and hated men and my parents kicked me out cos he would sneak up in my room at night. my dad told him "I don't want you sleeping with my daughter" and I was like omg.

my first night being "homeless" we stayed at some cab drivers apt who fell asleep in his room with the door open watching gay porn at high volume. I didn't sleep at all. the night after that we stayed at another middle aged gay mans apt who seemed less than thrilled to have me there.

the next day I took acid for the first time with a girl named noelle that I met at dennys and thats when I realized my boyfriend was gay. I have no idea why he was with me, but I'm positive he was fucking those dudes in exchange for a place to stay. noelle was way cooler than him anyway and I had never done drugs before so we took off all our clothes and ran down broadway at like 2p.

I saw a blind guy on the bus wearing glasses. maybe I'm just a dick, but I thought it seemed pretty redundant.

dirty carrie

ugh I have to post something new cos I am tired of seeing that dude's sack at the bottom of my page.

I have done basically nothing this entire week except play video games and touch myself a lot.
..holy retard I'm turning into a teenage boy????

um speaking of teenage boys I have spent pretty much all day talking to a 16 year old and by talking I mean breaking the law.

when I was like 5 me and my best friend jake used to dig for worms in my backyard and if we couldn't find enough I cut em in half with my playdoh knife so I could share with him :)

but the nastiness is that I know I've put these in my mouth D:

why I <3 bee:

Happy Fuckday!!

Fuck gas prices !! Fuck backstabbers !! fuck CHEATERS !! Fuck no ORGASM !! Fuck mean people !! Fuck people that can't drive !!Fuck having no money !!!Fuck jeans being to much money !~! FUCK EVERYTHING THAT MOVE!!!! Fuck hangovers ~Fuck Finals !!
Fuck girls that THINK my Exs wants them !!! Fuck girls who pretend to be your friend to get to sleep with your ex!!! Fuck people who are your friend only until they don't need you anymore - friends who use you. FUCK working 13 HOURS ON SUNDAY MORNING TILL FUCKING LATE EVENING..!!!!~ FUCK living in fucking HONG KONG!! ~

FUCK PEOPLE WHO HATE ME! Fuck IT ALL...!! fuck condoms~
Fuck people who think pugs AND ENGLISH BULL TERRIERS.. are ugly!! FUCK NDONESIAN POLITICIAN~!!! Fuck me please if your hot~~ FUCK Girls who dont like to give DICK head a suck!! Fuck Liars!!!! Fuck Fruit at the Bottom yogurt! Fuck !! Fuck the RAINS..!! Fuck Lowe/ LV..DIOR..FUCKERS!!! Fuck deadbeat dads !!! FUCK my JOB.. today!!Fuck PEOPLES AIN'T Pittsburgh Fans!! Fuck being just friends ( stupid whores ) !!! Fuck YOU!!!! Fuck the Government !!! Fuck my job again...today (That' s right not going) !! FUCK FUCKING STUPID LIARS! ~fuck the fucking dumd head shit eater.. buttlicker!!!! FUCK PRESIDENT BUSH AND FUCK YOU BAMAS HATING ON PITTSBURGH FANS.. FUCK THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH YOU WILL LIKE IT!! fuck who hate cow and eat elephant..!! Fuck not having a second car, and having to stay home all day..!!!Fuck the price of houses! !!Fuck Mother In-Laws!! Fuck not able getting SEX for half year!!!!!!FUCK THOSE GUYS WHO NOT ABLE TO GIVE A GOOD FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!! fuck a guy who fuck me to PERIOD!! Fuck stupid foreign fuckers that try to hit on me and wont go away when i say go away!!! Fuck life in general!!! Fuck self centered, egotistical, manipulating, lying, live by a different set of rules people!!! Fuck stupid people goggling at my boobs..!!! FUCK THE PERSON WHO SPAM ME LIKE MOTHERFUCKER ON MSN.. FUCK LEVI'S JEANS ARE FUCKIN TIGHT!! FUCK THE LINGERIE PRICE.. Fuck the person who FUCK ME AT MY 15 and half..! Fuck people who know diving..!! fuck my filthy mouth!! FUCK EX STUPID BOYFRIENDS THAT THINK I STILL HAVE A FEELING!!! FUCK THEM! FUCK..ummm...YOU! and Fuck the BUTT LICKER..fuck the SHIT EATER.. FUCK THE FUCK FACE LOSER.. TALK NO SHITS...!! Fuck HER BF'S AssHoles ... !! FUCK BRAINLESS SMALL DICK GUYS !!!! FUCK MALE SLUTS...FUCK BRAD PITT@@ FUCK HIS NEW GF!! FUCK HIS BABYMOTHER !!!!FUCK NOSY ASS NEIGHBORS
FUCK PARIS HILTON! FUCK KYLE...I HATE HIS RETARDED ASS!!!! FUCK MY EX GAY B/F!! FUCK MY EX G/F TITS!!! FUCK THE STUPID "PROFILE TRACKERS" ON MYSPACE!!! FUCK GODMOTHER .! AND FUCK ALL YOU STEELER HATERS OUT THERE !
FUCK FUCKING STRESS!!!! FUCK STUPID PEOPLE AGAIN..!!
Fuck love no sex..!! FUCK paying for downloaded music!!!FUCK RELATIONSHIPS !! FUCK video games...LOL .... FUCK THIS PLANET! FUCK ROPE!!!! fuck it drive on !!!!!!! Fuck all the bitchin' and moanin'!!! FUCK bikini haters.. Roma Irama..... FUCK it up!! Fuck dirty tampon!! Fuck ex-BFs who have nothing better to do with their time than to use what love you still HAD for them to fuck with your head and heart one more time!!!! FUCK ex-boyfreinds that fuck all the sluts in the cklubs..!!! FUCK ex-boyfriends that fucking don't take care of their kids!!! Fuck people who make promises they can't keep !!! Fuck anything yellow..!! FUCK!!! Fuck my clients!! FUCK my life cuz it sucks ass !!! fuck the girl who is in relationship with my Exs..!!! Fuck me.. Seriously!!! Fuck loud ass BASS WAKING ME UP 15 TIMES A DAY!!! fuck being single, im sick of not getting SEX..!!! FUCK those wants fuck my ass, seriously it small like heck.. and it fucking hurts like hell!!! Fuck you you fucking fuck face loser shiteater.. ass cancer loser Bali Bomb maker!!! FUCK ALL OF YOU!!! Fuck NOT able to fuck brad pitt..!! Fuck stupid aliens!!! Fuck those cheat on a single mother loser!!! Fuck lame ass small dick guys !!!! FUCK ALL THE GUYS WHO WON'T RAPE ME AT ONCE!!! FUCK MICKEY MOUSE AND HIS NASTY GF !!.fuck the rest of DISNEYLAND..!! .FUCK THIS PERIOD SHITS..!! FUCK PEOPLE WROTE LIKE THIS " MY 3N3MiiGAZ FUCK MY HAT3RZ N FUCK DAT ON3 BiiTCH GiiGGL3Z!!115.FUCK VANS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck ugly children. hahahahaha!!

FUCK GOD..!! FUCK THOSE FUCK ME AND NOT CARE TO LICK MY PUSSY AND SUCKS MY TITS..!!! FUCK BIG BIG COCK CAN'T COOK AND FUCK!!!
FUCK EVERYONE THAT ENVY MY BEAUTY...!! FUCK EVERYONE THAT HATE MY WITTY!! FUCK AND... fuck this !! FUCK ALL YOU MOTHAFUCKIN COCKSUCKIN 2 BALL BITCH FAGGOT ASS MOTHAFUCKERS !!!

Fuck Hong Kong.....I'm moving back to Bali !!!
Fuck New Year eve in Hong Kong!! Fuck not able getting fuck in Bali last year.. Fuck I'll have good fuck in Bali for next summer!!!! Fuck Ass Cancer !!!Fuck Cheapshot!!! Fuck Cheapskates!! FUCK CHEAP CHAMPANGE... FUCK WHO CALL ME SNOBBY BITCH..!!! FUCK TOO POOR NOT ABLE GO TO SCHOOL!!! .fuck KIDS WHO HATES SCHOOL!! fuck who REFUSE TO follow my rules !!! Fuck guys who think they are hot shit even they are HOTTEST!!! fuck girls who think they are CUTE even they are ugly like HELL..!! fuck having to be in fuck in 1 hour nonstop!!
Fuck this shit... FUCK ME PLEASE!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK !! FUCK PEOPLE WHO NEVER BUY ME DINNER.. FUCK THOSE WHO TRYING TO RAPE ME IN THE ASS!! FUCK THOSE WHO USE ME AS A SLAVE.. FUCK THOSE JEALOUS CUNTS !! FUCK THOSE UNAPPRECIATE MY THOUGHTS.. FUCK THOSE WHO THINK I AM NICE, FUCK THOSE WHO THINK I AM NOT A BITCH, FUCK THOSE HAVING ANAL SEX WITH HORSE.. FUCK GIRLS WHO AIN'T FILTHY MOUTH... FUCK THOSE SEXY HATERS.. FUCK THOSE STUPID COCK ..... FUCK..FUCK..FUCK..FUCK....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK YOU I AM NOT A STUPID.. FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK I AM NICE AGAIN...

FUCK ME YOU WILL HAVE A GOOD LUCK

bee wrote this post!! in case you didn't notice the link at the top. she is amazing. fuck my blog; go read hers :D

no bitch to me.

okay lets get one thing straight. you are wrong. dead wrong.
pretty much always. and you would do well to remember that.
its called blogofcarrie because I do the talking here; you just kiss my ass. you are more than welcome to tell me exactly how much I rock and should you feel the need to say anything beyond that is why you have your own blog. I allow comments not critiques and I don't need your negativity, I've got plenty. (yes I just told you that I don't want to hear it and I couldn't give a shit what you think about that). now carry on.

ps. this is raging menstruation carrie. please come back in 5-7 days.

faggoliath

this blog is crippling me. I have pictures to upload but I am too special to get them off my phone. practically everyone at the gh is a lesbian now so me and tapeworm ate cupcakes and synthesized vitamin d.

I called my dad last sunday to say happy fathers day and he was too drunk to hold a conversation so I guess it was a good one. he was introducing me as his wife's daughter which is probably indicative of more than just his stupefaction. I am totally gonna pull my hair over one eye soon.

a nugget for you

the problem with helping people other than it being a total waste of time is that it only serves to perpetuate their helplessness and validate it for them. people that need help are lazy and the only reason they don't get it is because they don't pay attention when someones there to show them what the fuck they need to do. they are somehow under the assumption that you are there to do it for them and that its gonna do them any good to have the right answers if they don't know how they got there. it is pretty much decided i am not interested in tutoring because smart kids don't need help.

he's a real pantshitter

tapeworm did not go to work today because he can't stop shitting himself. then the toilet flusher broke off (!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I have no idea what I am supposed to do about that actually but I am hoping it does not involve having the maintenance man up here again. my place is rather trashed plus he is a total molester.

we spent the whole weekend at my parents house but mostly at the bar down the.. um, street? I guess. I got amazingly drunk because there is really nothing else to do and all the "locals" were completely obsessed that we're from a real city and wanted to live vicariously through my bra.


the only weed they have is brown and poverty makes me sad kinda so I shared mine and I think they may have mistook my generosity for kindness, but in truth was merely another opportunity for me to show off and act superior.

why are you still here????

I am basically a genius at nutrition now although no one cares to heed my advice at all. obesity = retardation. seriously.

anyhow, I have decided that I will take zero classes this summer and maybe tutor people or get a job but probably not.

yesterday brokeback bob stopped by right in the middle of pilates cos he lacks the foresight to call ahead and see if anyone even wanted to see him so I didn't stop the entire time he was here. he lives like 40 minutes away and his wife doesn't let him get high so he just pops over whenever and says some shit like "I was just in the neighborhood" which is total crap so I won't get him stoned until he admits he came over just to freeload and hide from his bitch.


also, if you haven't sat thru the atrocity that was brokeback mountain DONT. unless you are into vulgar tasteless displays of homo cock thrust and tent desecration. with all those sheep out there they just HAD to fuck each other huh? I don't buy it.
to be honest, Im kinda hurt that none of you cared enough to question my judgement on that one. thanks guys.

talk nerdy to me

yesterday tapeworm and I went to some old peoples house that smelled of sauerkraut and incontinence and I sat on their couch and demystified finance and got a pee rash or something and had to scratch myself a lot.

also we took tapes mom shopping and she rented get rich or die tryin and then spilled a rootbeer float in the car and didn't tell anybody.

my parents were here for like 5 mins saturday and my dad launched into a panic attack and totally stroked out for no reason. they are set on moving back to seattle now because they "miss me" and have some absurd expectation that I will want to come live with them again.

I have to go make tapeworm watch brokeback mountain now because I know how much he really doesn't want to watch it and the thought of seeing his little homophobic toes curl up when he sees cowboys touching each other is making me way excited.

things that suck:

not having my shoutbox anymore. so what if I ignored you I still liked it.

never knowing the names of any of the famous people I am trying to talk about.
..or when I assign them names that no one else knows. and also not even be able to tell you what show they're from or what movies they've been in. this is a real problem actually.

not being stoned enough. wait.. I can fix that!

having people live upstairs. especially the ones that live up there now and DID I TELL YOU that I went up there and she answered the door in her bra? I told you people before that I am an irresistably unattainable lesbian fantasy HOWEVER annoying me until I come upstairs and knock on your door to tell you that you have succeeded in irritating me just so you can try and throw all your lesbianation at me in one.. um, door answering.. just goes above and beyond the call of duty.
I am way easier than that.

dawsons creek only comes on once a day. I don't really give a shit what you people think about it, one is just never enough. how did I used to manage when it was only on ONCE A WEEK??????!!!! baffling. I am totally retarded for that show.

ugh this list sucks.

one time I almost lost my arm working a production line in a magnet factory. I was feeding sheets of magnet into 2 big rollers that pressed them to adhesive backed photos and my hand got caught for a second. there is a button to stop them, but that was not my first reaction. it was totally stressful.

"mama, I smoked the tv"

tapeworm has the crabbies. he says its just the heat but I think he secretly hates me and wants me to move out, only for some reason he is punishing himself so he keeps telling me I'm completely insane. when he washes the dishes he sprays water all over the kitchen and makes a huge mess and I know if I say anything about it he will just not do them anymore and he is actually flooding the kitchen with the exact intention that I will bitch and he will no longer have to do dishes.

my mom got a new dog. she had her last one euthanized because she thought it barked too much. also I am going to tell you all some riveting information via my textbook about why fat people are fat and can't not be fat because lets face it everyone hates them and thats just not nice cos well, they're people too apparently.

fat cells may increase in size and number when there is a positive energy balance. obese people have more fat cells than normal and they are also larger. when energy out exceeds energy in, their sizes dwindle, but not their number. people with extra fat cells tend to regain lost weight rapidly; with weight gain, their many fat cells readily fill.

In contrast, people with an average number of enlarged fat cells may be more successful in maintaining weight lost; when their cells shrink, both cell size and number are normal.

there are also more complex hormonal influences at work to make the fat cells of an obese person super efficient at storing fat as well but thats too much to blog and you get the point.

..this makes it rather obvious why "dieting" does not work-- the second you stop, those efficient fat cells win. the only changes worth making are those you can commit to lifelong ;)

breasticles!!!!!!!!!!!

my cousins brain exploded last year. she married some guy she met in narcotics anonymous. they had a lot in common, namely 8 children and cocaine.

she and I were both adopted and my family was never okay with me bringing home black guys but it was fine for her cos she was mexican (???????????) and they didn't feel that they could expect her to keep it white.

when I was in first grade, my teacher had us cut faces out of construction paper and put yarn hair on it and they were supposed to be our self portraits. somehow I was surprised when she asked me why I had chosen to use brown paper for my pale face and black yarn instead of yellow for my blonde hair.

I had like zero white friends and I begged my mom for months to let me wear my hair in braids like the girls down my block had. eventually she gave in and sectioned my hair up in like 5 ponytails and braided them and put 5 of my little clips in the bottoms to hold them in place and sent me off to school.
heh. I didn't quite fit in like I thought I would.