Thursday, August 25, 2005

eat shit...and LIVE!

my keyboard has been queering offff and my ffffffffff button is sticking. ffffffffffffffffuck.
my mom got back from disneyland today and she brought me a shot glass and a magnet, so naturally I'm making good use :)

I know you're never gonna believe this, but I was rude to someone recently. and though it burns my eyes to even type such a thing..
I'M SORRY; I made a boo boo.
I talk faster than I think most of the time and I'm sure you can all attest to that :p for some reason I am always the last one to realize that I'm overreacting and its usually after I've done something waaaay out of line. it proves to be humbling at times.
still working on modesty, but its really not something I'm familiar with.

I keep thinking I hear someone trying to unlock my door. I've been super paranoid lately and I'd like to say its cos of all the insanely potent herb I came into, but I'd be bluffing; august ain't over yet and I'm sure it'll be october before things really pick up again. anyway, the truth is rents due in a week and I have no idea how its getting paid. I'm fucking up and I think my conscience is trying to scare me into action. hehehh...we'll see who wins.

I've basically been a big wad of suckage all weekend. well, weekend is kind of a relative term cos I don't work, so I just designate whatever part of the week that felt like a "weekend" to be the weekend. and this week that was yesterday and the two days before it. more than ever I feel like I am probably the only one reading this and thats good because I have a few things I think I should hear.
I read some crap once that said "you may have a fresh start any moment you choose" and I used it like a crutch to justify every bad decision I knew I was about to make. I may be the coolest person I know, but in actuality thats not saying much. I bet even nerdy people get big headed sometimes.

6 comments:

justdawn said...

heh...it is more than just mildly entertaining to *listen* to to ramble to yourself:) I hope that you get your life in order...or at the very least, are not evicted from your home!

carrie said...

thanks dawn :)
I might have made things sound worse than they actually are. I'm not in any danger of eviction; I'm just unemployed.

Shy said...

no wonder we watch dr. phil. we're unemployed. do you iron while watching it? i think i asked that earlier....but it was one of the signs that i, too, am lame.

i like magnets.

carrie said...

hahaha..thanks for assuming I'd have enough class to iron! :p

magnets rock. but I'm always dropping them and losing them under the fridge.

jane said...

you don't work & you still get a 3 day weekend??? damn girl!
well, i was kinda hoping you'd grovel more about the apology & say who you were saying sorry to. was it tickles? poor guy. :(
was it someone else? am i just being nosey? yes, i am.
i have to be @ the dentist in 2 hours & i hate the dentist. I always worry about getting gas there. can't very well blame it on anybody else, now can we? maybe i'll be doing some apologizing of my own in that chair.
take it easy chickadee :)

carrie said...

hehe..okay jane, you caught me. I didn't go into detail on the apology because it was not aimed at just one person. I was on a roll this week! :p

thanks veggie. I believe in the power of positive thinking. if things can go right, they will. besides, its not like I'm totally out of options; I hear there's people that will pay for blowjobs.