jacque used to tell everyone she was in love with me. but she always settled for my boyfriends. even though we were together a lot, she didn't really know me at all but we had drugs in common so it worked out most of the time.
she left me with a notebook once and it was full of the kinds of secrets I would have never written anywhere.
I saw myself through her eyes. and it was very distorted. she said she didn't know if she wanted to be me or be with me.
later she said she hadn't meant to show it to me.
I lied and said I hadn't read it, but she knew.
she told me she was sleeping with her 14 year old step sister. and so was her brother.
she went on to say she let a coke dealer and his cousin tag team her, for half a gram. and they told her she was the fattest girl they'd ever banged. before they were finished.
she started losing lots of weight and she hadn't been eating anything but popsicles for weeks.
she told me she knew I would never judge her and I wondered what had given her that impression.