Friday, July 08, 2005

"am I being cool? cos I'm really trying to be cool right now" -- bob

today I got a letter from my school offering $7,878 in grants for the next 3 quarters. I just might end up with an education.

this guy I know named bob barker was looking at a picture of some naked chicks and he said "her boobs are almost as big as my mom's."

his uncle died from autoerotic asphyxiation. bob used to come over to raetard's place in the mornings and let us put dresses and makeup on him and take us to taco time.

bob is fucking cheap and he never has his own weed. except one time tickles and I went to his house to watch wrestlemania and he loaded up a stingy ass bowl so we were like hey bob hows about you stop being a pussy and load that bong and he started whining and his wife snatched his sack off the table and loaded up a fat bowl and told him he could have the rest next weekend. she fucking rocks.

and before you go rushing to bob's defense know this: anyone who has ever tried to side with bob has rescinded their sympathy.
bob is a pervert. he'll hump your dog's leg.

2 comments:

karyrogers said...

Unfortunately I don't have anything to say about Bob and his dog humping habits but I will keep an eye on him, if I ever see him, and my dog. Good thing I have two eyes.

I do have a comment about this (from 100-things comments):

"More clothes should have built in underwear. It would save me on laundry time."

Brilliant, simply brilliant. Why hasn't anyone thought of this sooner? And why-in-the-heck hasn't anybody implemented it? My weekend project: sew my underwear into all of my pants. Well, I don't sew really, so maybe some sort of taping system will suffice.

This will save countless seconds in the future. And I'll get a whole frickin' drawer back. See, no need for a separate unmentionables drawer. *raises fist in triumph*

jane said...

lol and well on that note, i'm glad i have a pig & not a dog!