Monday, July 11, 2005

drunk ass pops

my dad is borderline retarded. he talks about the internet like it's an obscure middle eastern country. he watches nascar and chainsmokes and he eats half a stick of butter every morning. his favorite food is creamed corn. when I was like 8 we were coming back from a baseball game and I had one foot in the truck when he started to drive and I was screaming at him that I wasn't in the car and he drove almost a block before he heard me. when we got home he tried to make dinner and he dropped an aluminum pepper shaker on the burner and the whole house filled up with pepper gas. he shampoos his hair with bar soap. he "organizes" the ashtrays pushing all the ash to one side and neatly lining all the butts up on the other. he listens to really bad music with the treble all the way up. he yells into the phone. he makes stupid faces when he mows the lawn (seriously funny shit). he speaks in one word sentences and he bangs his pipe on the ashtray when he wants me to get him high.

it really pisses me off when the shampoo and conditioner don't get used up at the same time and I have to get new shampoo and use the old conditioner and it'll never match again.

Blogger Mark Rogers thinks I am a total genius.

That's going to be me in 30 years if I'm not careful...

Monday, July 11, 2005 8:41:00 PM  
Blogger jane thinks I am a total genius.

I hate to tell you this, but I think your dad is 1/2 retarded.

just kidding. he sounds hilarious!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005 3:32:00 PM  
Blogger The Prynce thinks I am a total genius.

Holy shit. That sounds like every other dude over 40 here in SC! All except he wants you to get him high. People down here think weed makes everyone enter interacial and homosexual relationships.

My shampoo and conditioner bottles are huge, black, and TresEmme. I have a similar problem as you in that I seem to use just a drop more of conditioner every time. I'm also seen as a shampoo/conditioner scavenger because I hair longer than anyone in my house by FAR (over twice as long as my sisters, I'm almost sure) so I run out of shampoo and conditioner often and have to scavenge the others.

-=The Prynce

Tuesday, July 12, 2005 3:52:00 PM  
Blogger carrie thinks I am a total genius.

wow, you guys hide your shampoo from each other? that's fucking awesome.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005 11:59:00 PM  
Blogger Chris thinks I am a total genius.

I still live at home unfortunatly and I hide food, towels, hair stuff, tape, batteries, and scissors. Its a good time, i swear

Thursday, July 14, 2005 6:50:00 AM  

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