Tuesday, July 26, 2005

shocking culture

shortly before 12a I was riding the 16 meet up with tapeworm in queen anne. I was pretty sure the last stop was by tower but I guess it was the block before it cos the bus took a right and started toward aurora (a freeway) and I was kinda freaking out cos the next stop wasn't for miles and I had no idea how to get back where I needed to be without trying to run through gaps in traffic and straddle the median divider thing (not fun). this middle eastern or indian or whatever dude heard me talking to the driver and he was like "don't worry I'll help you get back" so I chilled the fuck out and we got to talking about weed somehow. and he was like "what else do you do?"

we got off the bus and start walking to some shitty motel he's living in cos he wants to compare goods before he shows me back and hes like "I've got some magazines I really want to show you" and I'm like, "uh..yeah, sure." like I've never seen an issue of hightimes before, right?
we walk in the room and I sit down at the table and he immediately goes in the bathroom and starts pissing. with the door wide open. and I'm like, "wow dude, I can totally see you." I turned my head to look away and notice theres a fucking woman in the bed trying to sleep and he's just like "whatever".

he sits across me and I'm just ready to get the fuck out so I pack a quick bowl and he's like lets do some of this shit now and loads up his little chode pipe. the bitch woke up and started freaking out a little so he offered it to her and she got all pissy and pulled the blankets over her head and I'm like "dude, lets just go" and he's like "no, it's cool."

we sat there for a bit and I was fucked the fuck up and out of nowhere he pulls out some goddamn fat porn from the drawer on the nightstand and I was like holy WHAT THE FUCK?!! but I didn't have to say shit cos the bitch totally came unglued! she jumped up out of bed, threw off the blankets and starts screaming at him butt nekkid in broken english and all I could make out for sure was "don't ever touch me again!" she started charging at me and I was like oh shit! and grabbed for the door and this crazy fool followed me out carrying a blanket and said, "its okay, we can just sit out here and smoke" but I was like "hah. fuck you, fuck this, I'll figger it out myself." and of course I did. but sometimes I wonder what I would've done if that guy hadn't offered to help me. I'm super lucky cos I always meet really cool people on the bus.

Blogger Danielle thinks I am a total genius.

Wow. That's pretty sweet. The only cool people I've met were Cincinnati bums that smelled like poo. Fortunately, they didn't offer me fat porn, because then I would be smelling poo and looking at grotesquely obese women choking on each other's chicken at the same time, and that wouldn't be good.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005 10:47:00 AM  
Blogger The Prynce thinks I am a total genius.

I envy you. I'm a great fan of public transit. We have a shite excuse for it here but the whole 'fleet' contains about 20 buses and covers about 5 counties and my county is probably least covered at one stop with no more than 4 stops there a day.

That's why I love Myrtle Beach. I ride the fuckin' bus there sometime if I just don't have anything better to do. People on them are typically druken tourists and it's fun to fuck with 'em. And locals are just are fun and strange. And the drivers are fuckin' freaks but most are actually NICE! =-O You and your tale make me long for my second home. =(

I do have my ocassional beef with the buses there, though. Like when in the 'off season' they stopped running at like midnight instead of 2AM and we had no idea and wait for over an hour while nearly freezing and were stranded over like 30 blocks from our (or at least it was my friend's lol) apartment.
Or when you find out that the place you need to go is about a mile from the nearest stop except the one at the location, but the last bus JUST ran there. And its the middle of the summer and it's fuckin' 90+ degrees out with humidity that you can nearly fuckin' swim through and you're wearing big, long blue jeans and two shirts with black boots while accompanied by your pregnate girlfriend and a friend who's all but nude and he's had to sleep in a ditch and walk like 20 miles in similar heat when he was a teen so he's fuckin' jaded to it and had no complaints!

Those were pretty shite times with public transit... The last one yielded us a cool stole shopping cart from behind a miniature golf course, though, which came in handy as we'd blown our last $20 on super-cheap and crappy groceries and at about the 1/2 point, the bottoms of the bags busted and we were all up in ant hills...

God damn I miss that.

-=The Prynce

Thursday, July 28, 2005 12:27:00 AM  
Blogger carrie thinks I am a total genius.

dude..you envy me over that? is it just because I was nearly accosted by a naked woman? cos I can assure you that while sometimes its fun to get lost and make new acquaintances and behave out of character, getting spun out and having fat porn shoved in your innocent face is quite the opposite of a good time.

Thursday, July 28, 2005 12:39:00 AM  
Blogger The Prynce thinks I am a total genius.

No see I envy you for having public transit at your constant disposal.

And being chased by angry, nude women with questionable sanity and broken English while some dude pushes fat porn on you sounds like fun to me. lol.

Maybe I'm just sick of being in a small town hell hole and the thought of public transit makes me long for days not spent screaming inside my own head for escape or fun or entertainment. I miss the days in MB of offering someone a ride and having them offer you one in return and seeing an insane guy in a grocery store, eating a Lunchable and talking about buying a bottle of wine to get drunk while telling us exactly why there was a dude up front being pinned to the ground by multiple Piggly Wiggly employees sitting on him.

-=The Prynce

Saturday, July 30, 2005 12:27:00 PM  

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