"You can use a gun. I'm not saying you can't use a gun. Just don't use the same gun twice."

Luke showers sparingly and lies without abandon.
he also fucks his sister.
(ugh. tapeworm says I shoulda left that part out, but this isn't his blog now is it?)

Luke thinks the crows are going to take over the world. he says he's seen them bury their dead.

he told me that mcdonalds puts stuff in the food to make people more susceptible to mind control and they're transmitting these "suggestions" through radio signals.

he also never leaves his house. for anything. and he makes food when people are at his house all stoned and hungry and he doesn't fucking share and THAT IS FUCKED.

he always has really fucking good weed hence the reason I still know him but he's stingy as fcuk. and everytime I type fcuk it comes out like fcuk and I'm just gonna go with that. y'know... I just realized that like everyone I know is extra stingy and I may have to tell them all what I think of that soon.

luke saw a sasquatch a few nights ago. this was like two and a half weeks after he saw spaceships flying overhead in discovery park and lost 4 hours of his life that he can't account for.

I think luke just knows he sucks really bad and the stories he makes up are cooler than anything else he has to say so he's like fuck it. but it's lame cos it never gets old to him and when you think you've finally gotten past that shit, he starts whopping it up again. he's pretty good at it though.