Sunday, July 31, 2005

aint that a bitch

today was a good day for finishing off half empty bottles of belvedere and passing out on the balcony. well, I'd like to have passed out, but the phone keeps ringing once and hanging up and that kinda really fucked my nap. it was like the time my parents called the police to kidnap their own daughter out of her sleep and drag her to the dshs at 3a to go live with a lesbian and a drug baby.

I think everyone I know came over today.
and just sat here staring at my walls long after I tried to give them the "hey get the fuck out" hints.
but I'm pretty sure I know why.


britt says he never said that shit.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

I'd fuck her...

gotta say I was a little surprised to come across this post while voting in botb.


according to radmaddog, the author of doggy stylin', I am currently the #3 most bangable blog babe. he makes me sound like a fuckin rockstar and I'm super flattered.
I didn't even have to send him any naked photos!

chug-a-lug

butt rock britt showed up in his signature sleeveless shirt/headband combo but I couldn't talk the fat fuck into driving me up to my school so I could sign for my tuition grants before the 4:30 deadline. so instead I spent 3 hours on the bus and got motion sickness. but I made it. with 14 minutes to spare. posted up at the owl with tapeworm for some long islands before catching the bus back. some cross eyed woman sat down next to me and I'm pretty sure she stared at my boobs the whole ride home.

thirsty


in seattle this weekend? get bombed and check out some seattle rap!
9:30p saturday at the cocksport 4209 alaska. $5 cover.

perhaps you remember kirk from the last time I mentioned him. hes still drunker than ever and hes got a new cd to prove it. you can pick one up on saturday and get a chance to meet him while yer at it...

more about kdubb and mister holmes at www.kirkdubb.com, their official website. you can also check out their myspace for a taste of the new album.

Friday, July 29, 2005

my neighbors all sucked too

this is my old apartment. the two bottom windows you see were my living and dining area..if you can call it that. the whole thing was about the size of a bedroom. 400sq ft to be exact. I slept in the closet so I could still have an 8ft couch and coffee table for my scumbag friends to sit and put their feet up on.

you might notice in the picture that all of the windows on the whole building are open. sure its a nice day, but the real deal is this fucking place is a portal into the fires of hell! the heat is insane. even in february as it snowed outside. we had fans in the windows and fans on the floor and fans on the tables but it just pushed around the hot air and we would hafta lay there in a pool of sweat.

there was a dance studio across the street and on the weekends all the mommies would stand out there like a giant pack of water buffalo whilst paying no mind to their screaming demon children and I'd have to stick my head out the window and let em know about it. I think I bitched more at those heifers than at the bums that hung out on the front stoop drinking tall boys of 211. at least they weren't crying.

theres a security thing there by the door that calls your phone when people hit your apt# so you can buzz em in. I moved out last october and I still get calls from it. and someone lives there now and probably can't figure out why no one ever comes over. and I hang up on all their friends cos I'm a bitch.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

oh. right.



I saw some parasailers on elliot bay yesterday and I was like, "ooh! I wanna parasail! but I don't wanna do it over the water, though. thats kinda scary."
and tapeworm said, "uh.. well, thats kinda the only way you can do it."

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

shocking culture

shortly before 12a I was riding the 16 meet up with tapeworm in queen anne. I was pretty sure the last stop was by tower but I guess it was the block before it cos the bus took a right and started toward aurora (a freeway) and I was kinda freaking out cos the next stop wasn't for miles and I had no idea how to get back where I needed to be without trying to run through gaps in traffic and straddle the median divider thing (not fun). this middle eastern or indian or whatever dude heard me talking to the driver and he was like "don't worry I'll help you get back" so I chilled the fuck out and we got to talking about weed somehow. and he was like "what else do you do?"

we got off the bus and start walking to some shitty motel he's living in cos he wants to compare goods before he shows me back and hes like "I've got some magazines I really want to show you" and I'm like, "uh..yeah, sure." like I've never seen an issue of hightimes before, right?
we walk in the room and I sit down at the table and he immediately goes in the bathroom and starts pissing. with the door wide open. and I'm like, "wow dude, I can totally see you." I turned my head to look away and notice theres a fucking woman in the bed trying to sleep and he's just like "whatever".

he sits across me and I'm just ready to get the fuck out so I pack a quick bowl and he's like lets do some of this shit now and loads up his little chode pipe. the bitch woke up and started freaking out a little so he offered it to her and she got all pissy and pulled the blankets over her head and I'm like "dude, lets just go" and he's like "no, it's cool."

we sat there for a bit and I was fucked the fuck up and out of nowhere he pulls out some goddamn fat porn from the drawer on the nightstand and I was like holy WHAT THE FUCK?!! but I didn't have to say shit cos the bitch totally came unglued! she jumped up out of bed, threw off the blankets and starts screaming at him butt nekkid in broken english and all I could make out for sure was "don't ever touch me again!" she started charging at me and I was like oh shit! and grabbed for the door and this crazy fool followed me out carrying a blanket and said, "its okay, we can just sit out here and smoke" but I was like "hah. fuck you, fuck this, I'll figger it out myself." and of course I did. but sometimes I wonder what I would've done if that guy hadn't offered to help me. I'm super lucky cos I always meet really cool people on the bus.

Monday, July 25, 2005

kinda trashy

I hate to clean and so I never do it. like ever. people just come over here and eat cereal and break my shit and leave all their trash everywhere and I'm not about to spend all day cleaning up my junk so those scumbags can come back tomorrow and ruin everything again. but its starting to get kinda really bad and even I don't want to look at it anymore. sucks huh? I was gonna post some pictures just so you could see that I'm not fucking around but tickles was like "um..NO." he thinks I'm gonna make us look bad or something and I was like "dude. it's not exactly like I've been projecting a wholesome image prior to this post."

okay thats weird

I don't know what the hell I've been doing but I just found some peanut butter on my back.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

yes thats the space needle

can you believe people actually pay $13 just to ride an elevator? me neither. and its not just one or two of em. idiots go up there all day long. I've lived in Seattle all my life and I have never gone up there. WHY? I went to the seattle center today for the first time since the office christmas party when they bought us all passes to the emp but we posted up in the lounge and got trashed instead. that was a lot more fun than than I had today at the bite. it was so jammed up, I seriously couldn't push through the waves of people. exhausting. and there was waaaay the fuck too many fools in line for the funnel cakes (but they were soooo worth every minute of the wait). sadly, tempero wasn't there this year and without moqueca, it's just not worth wading the crowd. we managed to get a seat for the bus ride home but the driver kept picking up people when there was no more standing room left and some guy sitting behind us was trying to get bitches to sit on his lap and then the driver freaked out and yelled "everybody off the bus!" and nobody listened and he got punked by a 14 year old boy who said, "just shut the fuck up and drive." which is exactly what he did.

*@!&#%$

IE is lame. for those of you viewing this through internet explorer- sorry its all ganked! tried to spiff up my template a bit and I can't make it look right in ie. damnit. I dunno what I did wrong but I think it has something to do with the padding values on my sidebar and main. the borders are extending too far vertically. anyway. I've spent seriously way too long trying to fix it today so I'm just gonna say fuck it for now. if anyone knows whats causing this or has any suggestions for me please comment or email.
thank you!

Friday, July 22, 2005

jesus loves me

holy fuck! some man angel just called and wants to pay me to eat candy!! I get to eat 7 different kinds of dark chocolate love for 2 days in a row and then they pay me $100 for it. and I get to eat candy. and they want to pay me for eating the candy. I don't know if I'm more excited about eating the candy or getting the money. I'm kinda thrilled about both.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

# two

I just ate like half a pineapple and now my tongue hurts like theres little cuts all over it. kinda sucks real bad. bob drinks rum and pineapple juice. just like a girl. I think the people upstairs are trying to bounce a bowling ball. and I'm worried about jumproping? shit. I've been eating a lot of raisin bran this week and it's having an effect on me. we were smoking resin earlier and tapeworm almost puked. it was fucking hilarious. he's been playing prank call recordings all day and they're pretty funny but it gets extra irritating to hear people bitching and yelling after awhile. it reminds me of when I used to have a job. ick. dude, I'm disgusting cos its been beautiful here like 90 degrees everyday but I don't wake up until after 5p. and even lamer than that is how I have 7 days left to accept my tuition grants but I just can't seem to wake up during office hours. sometimes it's too much to even take a free ride, y'know.


1. If you were a celebrity, what kind would it be (movies, tv, literature, crime, etc)?


a musician

2. Which other celebrities would you make a concerted effort to try and be around?

pfft. they come to me.

3. Which other celebrities would you avoid like the plague?

girls and anyone who couldn't help me become more rich/famous/powerful.

4. Which celebrities would you date?

really fucking rich ones and Tom Cruise (katie's getting on in her years)

5. What would be your “Celebrity Cause”?

drug awareness. kids need to know that drugs are everywhere and they're affordable and they make you a better person.

6. Since celebs always get off, what crime(’s) would you commit?

I would kill. just like henry.

7. What would be the name of your tell-all book?

"mama, I smoked the tv"

8. Tag 3 people to do this poll. (I don't usually do this part...but)

tapeworm
jane
prynce

9. Link to the post that tagged you.

badtofudotcommunist

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

another thing

I get kinda irked when someone says "no problem" instead of "you're welcome". I'm not apologizing, I'm thanking you. damnit.

"this one is loose cos I been smokin"

running in the sand makes my feet super dry. I hate the bathrooms on the beach cos people pee all over the floor in there and leave nasty used toilet paper everywhere. and I heard some boy got lestered in there once.

I've been thinking of getting a trampoline cos there might be people moving in downstairs and I bet they probably don't want to hear me jumprope up here but I've never had a trampoline before so I don't know if they are loud through the floor or if I can even jumprope on one.


I'm gonna go grind this up and roast it on the balcony.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

I never said I was reasonable

last night, I quit blogging. then I broke up with tickles. again.

what prompted all this drama you ask?

hehehh. well, first we ran out of weed. then I was trying to figure out my coordinates to put up that gay little map you see down near the bottom of the sidebar and it kept saying I was in eastern mongolia. which really pissed me off. so I started whining. but tapeworm was in the kitchen doing dishes (I am such a cunt) so he couldn't hear me and I wasn't quite satisfied with that so I yelled for him to come in here and help me. he wasn't too thrilled about having dropped everything to rush out here and have me geeking out over some glitter in my sidebar, so he got all pissy.

in my frustration over trying to fix the effin' map, I totally forgot to eat. for a long time. in hindsight this was probably a hefty contributer to the problem. not just because I was most likely entering the coordinates backward but also cos I've been known to get a wee bit cranky when I'm hungry.

anyhoo..I flipped right the fuck out, yo. I told him he was selfish. I had just finished writing a new post and in my fit of rage I deleted it and announced that I was done with blogging.
and when he tried to put the events of the last few minutes in perspective for me, I refused to listen. I became so irritated that he would even suggest I had overreacted that I told him I didn't want to live with him anymore. I grabbed my pillow and headed for the couch.
I woke up at 5:30 this morning after some much needed sleep still feeling a little bitter and trying my damnedest to hold onto that justified feeling I fell asleep with.
no such luck. with every passing minute it became more clear that I had seriously fucked up. when I finally decided the time had come to just go in there and deal with the aftermath, he was laying in bed watching western movies. he gave me a big hug, apologized and asked if I still wanted to move out.

yes I realize I am an undeserving little shit.
I'm almost embarrassed to recount the past 12 hours on here, but I said to myself it just wouldn't be right for me to withhold the truth from the people of the internet. If all I ever told you about was kittens and rainbows and butt rock britt it would be misrepresentation. and I think you all deserve to know the "real" carrie.
that and if I don't like what you have to say I'll just delete it.

Friday, July 15, 2005

t.a.b.

I was laying on the couch with my pig and we both fell asleep and when I woke up he was eating my hair. and he wouldn't let go of it. I tried to raise my head and his tiny little front paws lifted off the couch.

tapeworm came in the kitchen while I was COOKING FOR HIM to put some dishes in the dishwasher (right behind me) and then left it open and when I backed away from the stove I fell over it and mangled my leg.
then he said, "oh, be careful!"

yeah, thanks.

I made him take me to dairy queen to make up for it and then we stopped off at butt rock britt's house to get a bag and that lazy son of a bitch has some reacher/grabber thing and he uses it for everything. his phone rang and instead of lifting his tubby ass off the couch he tried to pick it up with that shit and dropped it like 4 times.
missed his call.
I swear he has no shame at all. he was actually going to try to grab a glass of water with that shit but I was like put the tongs down, chubby; I'll hand it to you.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

a couple nuggets you might not know...or care to know.

jane tagged me for this, but I'm not the tagging kind. so if you decide you want to snatch this up and make your own, please leave a comment so I can come by and read it.

10 years ago:

hmmm...july of 1995 I was 13. I spent most of my time sneaking cigarettes from my mother's purse and hiding in my room to smoke them. I watched bobby's world every morning and beavis and butthead every night. I lived in the hood. I listened to xraided and bone cos I was all ghetto. I played on a volleyball team and I got seriously nervous everytime a certain tall blonde boy with braces came to watch open practice.

5 years ago:

I was 18 in 2000. now that I could buy my own cigarettes, there was just no joy left in it so I kicked smoking and took up porn. especially midget and gay porn. I wore a lot of makeup. I still lived in the hood, but I was never home. none of my dumbass friends graduated. I tried to drive a granada. and failed miserably. tapeworm had just turned 21 and I couldn't hang out cos I was too young to go to the bar. and that totally ruined my summer.

1 year ago:

last summer I called in sick. a lot. in fact if my boss' sex life up to that point hadn't entirely consisted of stalking me, I'd have been canned long ago.
seriously, this guy was hanging out in my cubicle stroking my chair! while I was in it! and then it got worse and he was driving around my block obsessively and there's a turn lane in front of my apartment and he would STOP in it and stare up here! then I walked into my favorite bar one night and he was sitting in there. he lives in another city! I'm pretty sure he was listening to my phone calls and heard me say I was going there! working sucks.
anyhow...Tickles and I drove the cascade loop like every weekend and when that got old we went to cannon beach and ate fudge.

yesterday:

haha..I woke up at 7p. played with my piglet, smoked an assload of weed, blogged some, had a nap, ate a burrito, fought half life 2 for some of tapeworm's attention(..and lost!), made excellent use of the gravity bong, considered doing laundry but decided I prefer watermelon vodka and pink lemonade to clean clothes, used my great ingenuity to invent origami rocks, envied myself, bonghits, ice cream.

**note: I can't believe this. tapeworm says somebody already invented origami rocks. ugh, what the fuck? were they retarded?

5 snacks I enjoy:

apples and peanut butter
bananas and peanut butter
spoon and peanut butter
cracklin' oat bran (cereal)
morningstar corndog bites. or chik'n nuggets.

5 songs I know all the words to:

pigs on the wing 1
dogs
pigs (three different ones)
sheep
pigs on the wing 2

5 things I would do with 100 million:

I would invest almost all of it in real estate and then I'd spend the rest on
clothes
precor efx 546i
weed
and a haircut

5 locations I would like to run away to:

georgia
cannon beach
pennsylvania
dairy queen
lincoln park

5 bad habits I have:

potty mouth
eat with my hands resulting in #48
anti-social
outspoken
self-involved

5 things I like doing:

working out
reading blogs
getting high
singing poorly
eating pie

5 things I would never wear:

shirt
bra
pants
underwear
socks

5 tv shows I like:

curb your enthusiasm
sopranos
chappelle's show
viva la bam
good eats

5 biggest joys of the moment:

ben & jerry strawberry cheesecake
having a tapeworm
reading busblog
jane said "blogorrhea"
being almost done with this meme

5 favorite toys:

camera
pope snowglobe
the cubes
ipod
stinkor. I got him in 1986 and he still smells like butt

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

"You can use a gun. I'm not saying you can't use a gun. Just don't use the same gun twice."

Luke showers sparingly and lies without abandon.
he also fucks his sister.
(ugh. tapeworm says I shoulda left that part out, but this isn't his blog now is it?)

Luke thinks the crows are going to take over the world. he says he's seen them bury their dead.

he told me that mcdonalds puts stuff in the food to make people more susceptible to mind control and they're transmitting these "suggestions" through radio signals.

he also never leaves his house. for anything. and he makes food when people are at his house all stoned and hungry and he doesn't fucking share and THAT IS FUCKED.

he always has really fucking good weed hence the reason I still know him but he's stingy as fcuk. and everytime I type fcuk it comes out like fcuk and I'm just gonna go with that. y'know... I just realized that like everyone I know is extra stingy and I may have to tell them all what I think of that soon.

luke saw a sasquatch a few nights ago. this was like two and a half weeks after he saw spaceships flying overhead in discovery park and lost 4 hours of his life that he can't account for.

I think luke just knows he sucks really bad and the stories he makes up are cooler than anything else he has to say so he's like fuck it. but it's lame cos it never gets old to him and when you think you've finally gotten past that shit, he starts whopping it up again. he's pretty good at it though.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

"it's either you or them, right?"

bob drove us to jamba juice and we passed some lady out walking her dog and bob said, "that's a cute ass dog."
back in the day bob wanted to be a pro wrestler and he was gonna call himself Triple B: the perfect drug "cos I'm that damn addictive"

me and tickles went to a metal show at the fenix and right as we were crossing the street to go inside a fucking bird shat on my shoulder. and then we ate barbecue.

ugh. I'm starving and we never have any good food around here. its all peanut butter and rice a roni. hmmm...actually, that is good food.

some asshole was outside at 7a today with a goddamn leaf blower. if I can find some silverware I'm gonna cut my hair later.

Monday, July 11, 2005

drunk ass pops

my dad is borderline retarded. he talks about the internet like it's an obscure middle eastern country. he watches nascar and chainsmokes and he eats half a stick of butter every morning. his favorite food is creamed corn. when I was like 8 we were coming back from a baseball game and I had one foot in the truck when he started to drive and I was screaming at him that I wasn't in the car and he drove almost a block before he heard me. when we got home he tried to make dinner and he dropped an aluminum pepper shaker on the burner and the whole house filled up with pepper gas. he shampoos his hair with bar soap. he "organizes" the ashtrays pushing all the ash to one side and neatly lining all the butts up on the other. he listens to really bad music with the treble all the way up. he yells into the phone. he makes stupid faces when he mows the lawn (seriously funny shit). he speaks in one word sentences and he bangs his pipe on the ashtray when he wants me to get him high.

it really pisses me off when the shampoo and conditioner don't get used up at the same time and I have to get new shampoo and use the old conditioner and it'll never match again.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

"shit, if it's gonna be that kind of party, I'm gon stick my dick in the mashed potatoes"


I swear I never fucking sleep anymore. I was on the bus and it seemed like everybody was staring at me and I was like I bet they recognize me from my shitty blog and I got all paranoid so I turned around to look out the window and I totally spaced out and almost missed my stop.

the strap on my sandal broke when I stepped off the bus and I was trying to tuck it in so I wouldn't trip and fall on my goddamn face and when I stood up some dude was gawking and I was like, "..yeah?" and he said

"you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen"

I was like, "uh, thanks" and even though I was mostly creeped the fuck out because he followed me off the bus, I was muy flattered.

bob is the gay

I tried to microwave a banana and it caught on fire.

a couple years ago at hempfest we were sitting in the grass getting fucked up and vajohnna got in a fight with 3 lesbians cos he kept saying homobowl.
he was like, "what? that's what it's called" but they wouldn't shut the fuck up so he started throwing ice cubes at them and told them they looked like a pack of hot dogs that got microwaved too long.


there was a postcard in the mailbox yesterday for the people who used to live here



A reminder that Sydney is now overdue for the following:

3/19/2005 Fecal Flotation





Saturday, July 09, 2005

oops..

I told her I didn't want to come if he'd be there.

and she said, "I understand".

I'd like to say I was surprised when he grabbed my arm to say hello. motherfucker. I gave him the look I've been practicing for the last 7 months. duped. she had "sorry" in her eyes but that was not going to cut it.


"will you be needing separate checks?"

(me) "oh no. nikki, you'll be picking up my tab, right?"


30 minutes and 4 vodka tonics later, she'd nearly redeemed herself, until


(he) "hey carrie..Carrie. Carrie, I'm talking to you...CARRIE!"

(me) "FUCK. WHAT??! WHAT KEVIN? What the FUCK do you want?"


(he) blank stare.


(me) "this is bullshit; you made it perfectly clear that we have nothing to say to each other. don't try to act fake now because we're in a room full of people."

silence.

(he) "...I was just going to ask for my drink..it's..in your hand."

Friday, July 08, 2005

"am I being cool? cos I'm really trying to be cool right now" -- bob

today I got a letter from my school offering $7,878 in grants for the next 3 quarters. I just might end up with an education.

this guy I know named bob barker was looking at a picture of some naked chicks and he said "her boobs are almost as big as my mom's."

his uncle died from autoerotic asphyxiation. bob used to come over to raetard's place in the mornings and let us put dresses and makeup on him and take us to taco time.

bob is fucking cheap and he never has his own weed. except one time tickles and I went to his house to watch wrestlemania and he loaded up a stingy ass bowl so we were like hey bob hows about you stop being a pussy and load that bong and he started whining and his wife snatched his sack off the table and loaded up a fat bowl and told him he could have the rest next weekend. she fucking rocks.

and before you go rushing to bob's defense know this: anyone who has ever tried to side with bob has rescinded their sympathy.
bob is a pervert. he'll hump your dog's leg.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

they don't all have to have titles, y'know...

my parents are coming for a visit. not to worry--I have drugs. it's not like we don't get along..but I prefer they stay on their side of the state. we really need that 5 hours between us.
I was thinking about cleaning my apartment but that's about as far as it usually goes. besides, that would probably just encourage them to stay longer.


I stayed up watching scary movies and now I don't want to go to sleep. I'm such a wuss.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

ugh. wake up tapeworm; I'm bored.

I wore clothes almost the whole day today and I feel accomplished. butt rock britt came over yesterday. this fool shows up at like 11am talking about, "where's the liquor at?" all I had was some 151 left over from making flaming dr peppers awhile back and he's hitting straight off the bottle.
ick.
and he always talks shit because I'm eating sugary crap everytime he sees me and that pisses me off damnit. I eat candy motherfucker. he talks himself up and he lies about dumb things but I secretly don't like him cos once he told me I didn't know anything about life.
the truth is I like who he used to be

but now he's just butt rock. and he's not down for the cause. and he bores me. and one time he said that he was "in a papa roach mood" and I knew right then we could never really be friends again.

I usually go to bed when the sun is peeking through the shades and the birds are singing in the tree outside my window but tonight I was like fuck sleep so I came here to see what sort of retarded shit I had to say. I made some new blogs recently and now I'm thinking...I don't even have anything worthwhile to say here, what the hell did I want to say over there?

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

fucking oprah


is doing a show on wednesday entitled

"Ricky Martin Travels to Meet Tsunami Orphans"

the caption says

"Three years ago, he walked off the stage. Now, singer Ricky Martin is on an urgent mission: Our cameras follow him inside the tsunami zone."

I'm not really into current events. apparently oprah isn't either.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

28 pieces of me

every 4th of July my mom and I used to pull out the fold up card table and put together a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle. I think the idea behind it was to keep me busy (because I was so excited about lighting fireworks I could hardly sit still and I was driving them nuts!) but those still go down as some of the best times spent with my mom.
I figured you guys were probably too lazy for 500 pieces, so here's a small one I made today:






this puzzle can also be found here if it's not loading right on this blog.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

like I'm not even here...


**note:
comments are fixed for this post now...I have no idea what that was about**



there are 80,000 people living in west seattle. why do I keep running into the same ones every time?

went for dinner with tickles and vajohnna at new luck toy and like 10 minutes after the food got to our table tapeworm's ex-girlfriend's mom stood up to leave and spotted him.
she has a delridge accent and she must be half deaf cos she screams when she talks.

and she talked. a lot. about her daughter. of course.

she doesn't acknowledge that she's just interrupted our conversation and our meal but what really irritated me was that she didn't even stop to introduce herself to the rest of the table even though she stayed a good 12 minutes (I said 15 but tickles said 10 so I compromised cos I'm sweet like that).
anyhow, the bitch just wouldn't take a hint.
she didn't leave without penning her daughter's phone number on his napkin and demanding that he call her.



**[unrelated story about her:
tickles and I were good friends when he was dating her and I called him one night to meet up and she was with him and we were gonna roll around in his car. when I walked up on the car she looked at me and said

"he told me I don't have to get out of the front seat".

she was dead serious too. she had actually asked him when she saw me coming if she was going to have to move!]**



about a week after being "bumped into" by her mom at the restaurant, he and I are shopping at the farmers market and by the time we saw her [his ex] it was too late to hide. she goes at him with a running hug. he was like, "uh..", arms flailing at his sides as she clung from his neck. when she finally dismounts, she says a whole bunch of the wrong thing. something along the lines of "omg, I miss you, we need to hang out" (I'm sure it was far more profound than that, but the rage clouds my memory).

what I do remember is the look on her dumbass face when she asked for his number and he told her we didn't have a phone! that made for one hell of an awkward moment that I can be proud to say I was witness to.

why did I listen to you people?

drunk blogging is NOT FUN. I know that because I tried it and I just want to say that a few of you have TOTALLY steered me wrong...and I'm gonna remember that.

so I'm setting the record straight here:


drinking + computer = shitty headache


Friday, July 01, 2005

O' Canada...quit sending us that schwagg!

ugh. the guy across the street keeps calling. He gave up for the longest time but I ran into him last week and somehow he decided it was time to give it another go.

shit. My shades are wide open and I know the son of a bitch can see me sitting on my ass not answering the phone, yet he won't take a hint.

get a brain moranshmmm..1 new message. I love it when people talk to my voicemail like they can't tell it's voicemail.
"hello? Carrie? are you there? it kinda looks like you're there.. pick up the phone! ...oh well I guess you're not home. call me."
heh. losers.

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