dont fuck the birds

on the drive to oregon my aunt told me about a guy who fucks pigeons cos he likes the way it feels when they die.
i guess they convulse or something. also when i was maybe eleven, my same aunt told me about a time when she was working the infirmary of a washington state prison and she had to review some files. one of the convicts had a really bad infection in his urethra and had to have an invasive and painful procedure involving oversized catheters. it was sort of a long term treatment and after awhile he started to rather enjoy it..
he was released temporarily and after he returned to the prison he began complaining of severe abdominal pain. he was eventually x-rayed and inside of him they saw a coiled up skeletal remain of a snake. while he was out, he had found a very thin snake, which he claimed reminded him of the catheter, and tried to wrap the end of its tail around his finger and let it slither up inside of him but he lost control; the snake got loose an crawled up inside him an died

and somehow i still think he had a better weekend than i did..

i spent like 4 days in oregon with my parents and my aunt and uncle who are not married to each other because they are my moms brother an sister. yes that was probably more than you needed to know but you would have thot they were married if i hadn't just clarified that. anyhow. oregon sucks. i was going to meet my moms dad for the first time but instead we ended waiting for him to die all weekend cos he decided to have heart failure plus like 8 kinds of cancer an a collapsed lung all in the 6 hours it took us to drive to lincoln city. and it rained. the whole time. we stayed in some hotel on the beach an there was a huge storm and my uncle completely freaked out cos i got high in the hotel room and he called me dysfunctional (HAHAHA) and opened all the windows and doors to try an "air the room out" like the atf was about to bust in. everyone was pissed cos it was fucking freezing an windy and he was trying to act like they should all get mad at me over it cos it was my fault he HAD TO air the room like this but no one else cared an basically told him he was being a prick and once he realized it was not going his way he tried to tell me "you can go ahead an shut ONE of those windows now" and i was like "um fuck yourself". anyhow he pretty much spent the entire time pissing me off which was not smart because i promptly kicked him in the shoulder when i was getting out of the car for breakfast.
we were supposed to leave on sunday but my moms dad just wouldnt die so even tho we only brought enough clothes for 3 days they made us stay another day cos they were SURE he would not have lived thru the last 2 days already so somehow that made them think that he was definitely gonna do it tomorrow?? i dont know i still dont even understand why anyone would want to "be there" when someone died. especially if it means hanging around in yesterdays clothes. and for what? ive been home for 2 days and he still aint dead yet.

ejaculation of my soul

gentrification ruined my birthday. me an tapeworm drove for 3 hours trying to find the hood and there was nothing but townhouses. there wasnt even a lot of churches wtf.
seattle basically has no culture. just pho and totem poles.
goddamn bubble tea.

tomorrow i have to go to my parents house where i will be forced to endure my grandfather and some other random family members while eating something my mom cooked.

...whose birthday is this?

im really a troll called indofunk ;)

heh.. apparently these people dont think the "real carrie" would stalk their forum.

lol, slut

wtf nsfw ffs

i am totally not gonna bother warning you against reading my blog while you're at work. if you dont know what the fuck you should be doing while on your employers computer then you deserve to get fired you stupid piece of shit. and i hope its damn embarrassing too.

yes that was completely unprovoked.

i forfeit my liver

today me an tapeworm smoked drugs and then i made us listen to galore and basically that entire album is about how jacque is an insatiable slut.

all my friends hate each other. and some of them even hate me.

i have achieved a new and higher level of nerddom lately my days consist of working out and listening to npr. i still have no idea what they're on about most of the time but im listening damnit.

thursday i got a letter about the "disturbances" coming from my unit. ugh.. i would totally bitch about that except im kinda exhausted of talking about it anymore. i dunno maybe later.

i found a post i wrote a long time ago like maybe a year and a half that i never posted cos tapeworm said it was "too much" and so i read it again last night to him and he still says its "too much". i think perhaps i ask him what he thinks "too much" ..but he is prolly right an thats why ure reading this instead of that.

more whining/complaining

the best way to sum today up would be complete hormonal rampage. um hello internet im bleeding again.

i dropped out of school (again) i will be going back sometime in january but for now i am supposed to get a job or something sometime. heh. i am okay at working as long as it is not a neverending pit of time suckage. having to see the same people everyday totally pisses me off. like a few days i am okay with but they hafta be spread out and also i cant stay too long.

hmmm well pretty much i am back to avoiding my mother again. i had this rather extended loss of reason an accountability where i was planning to move in with them and i actually did go stay with them for what ended up being 2.375 days because thats how long it took me to get tired of my dad smelling like a bottle of bacardi before 10am. jealousy is ugly.

also my birthday will be on november 3 again this year.
prepare yourselves.

do you look like that because yer a lesbian or are you a lesbian cos you look like that

tapeworm is a total phlegmtard. every morning i can hear him in the shower trying to hork up his infection and i am always finding little chunks of mucous spittle on the shower curtain and it makes me gag. the first time i tried shaving i shaved off the back of my ankle or whatever the part that has wrinkles if you dont flex your foot. i completely freaked out cos there was blood everywhere all over the bottom of the tub mixing with the water and it looked like i was bleeding to death. also one time i fell in the shower and scraped my entire back with the faucet thing. that sucked.

ugh my cousin is back to being a dyke again all her girlfriends look like boys and i dont get it cos shes not that ugly im sure she could find a nice boy to love her despite her abdominal protrusions. well she tried to blog about liking boys and also had a fake boyfriend for awhile to try an fool me and it worked for a time until i saw some interestingly dykish comments on a few of her myspace pics an decided to have a look at this commentor and did not make it halfway down the page until i saw a message from my retardid little relative saying "im not out to family yet so dont leave me any comments about being a lesbian k" obvs genius does not run in the family.

iguana scrotum

AHAHAHAH!!!!! omfg better than dog puke

now 38% improved!! >:)

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monotony monogamy

"show me the most beautiful girl in the world, and I'll show you a guy who's tired of sleeping with her

rather crass, i think, but true. not just for men, but for women too. and it's not just that we tire of each other, we keep getting interested in the other items on the menu.

because let's face it, marriage is an unnatural state. the notion of staying intimate with one person for the rest of your life is akin to, say, being able to eat one kind of sandwich for the rest of your life. imagine that? tell me you wouldn't be leaning over the counter, looking at the day's special, wondering, 'wouldn't it be great if I could try that smoked turkey on rye?'" -dan cronin

CRIKEY!!!!!!!!!!

dont read this

when I was 6 my neighbor used to babysit this girl sometimes that was my age and she only had one real eye an the other one was glass. she would throw fits when she didnt get her way and pop out the glass eyeball. one time we were in the yard playing and she was sposed to come in for lunch but she didnt want to so she popped the eye out in the grass and acted like she couldn't find it so everyone had to stop an dig thru the grass to find her eye.

pioneer square

a guided tour thru seattles drinking/historical district

hi.my cousin tonya was found dead in a motel room after about 3 days of decomposition. needle still stuck in her arm. my mom says she can always tell when im not doing good cos i wont call her. i think its funny cos she has it completely backward; i only call her on the rare occasion things are really shitty and i've got no one else to talk to.

fear the walrus

i used to work with a girl named michael lynn on the beach and she was a dyke because she would always make me hafta do the really fucked up shit like talk to the customers an sanitize things and she thot she should just get to stand around frothing milk and gaining weight and i do not particularly like talking to people especially michael lynn so one time i put a lot of salt in her coffee and she actually quit over it. but after that i got to froth lots of milk and also talk to customers and clean everything cos they always hire pastry thieving lesbians to work at coffee shops and the new girl was to be no different.

haha no one is gonna click this huh. fuckers

I have not breasts, but creamy white rape invitations!!!!

tapeworm and I met one of his friends for drinks and some woman just invited herself to sit with us and started talking to me about how she had just spent all day driving here and she was a masseuse and she thought I looked like I "needed her" and decided not to ask if i minded her fondling my backside.
I was really trying to be okay about that cos she was drunk and also a professional (???) but then she started kissing the back of my neck and tapeworms friend (who had never met me before) was looking at me like i had invited this dyke freakshow over here to molest me in public. anyhow I felt completely helpless and like anything i said was gonna be a hate crime and i had probably incited all of this by even owning a vagina.

my lover is your mother

my uncle hung himself yesterday. I was supposed to go to tacoma to see my family but I'm hiding instead cos i just dont wanna. this is the second of my dad's brothers to kill himself. I was 14 when the first one died and I went to stay with my family in spokane for the week and my cousin chris told me that our cousin dj, whose father had just died, was actually our uncle. I was like psshhhhh whatever and he said "no really, grandpa fucked dj's mom" and I was like SHUT UP my grandpa did NOT sleep with his sons wife okay..
and i told my mom that chris was a liar and I didn't like him anymore and she was like what happened so I told her what he said and she was just quiet. I said NUH UHHHHH what kind of father fucking family have you brought me into?????? and you've left me alone with these pederasts :O what are we mormons???!!!!!!!!! how could you just not mention something like that.. but she didn't really think it was anything to get all excited over :|



is it really just my family thats so fucked or am I'm just the only one dumb enough to talk about it.

slut blog

tapeworm and I are leaving each other for the same woman.
I know she wants me tho ;)
..right after iggy pop and some guy from texas,
but thats alright cos I dig leftovers.
besides, he will ignore you for video games - I will at least give you a turn. eh? who loves ya?

tix did not work today (again!!) so I made him try yoga (again!!)
..he is not so pliable really :(
I thought yoga was for everyone but even the modifications make him scream.


my mom likes to call me and gossip about everyone she knows and then make friends with them again and tell them everything I said about them while she was upset. also, she is referring to tapeworm as my "roommate" now??? unfortunately my parents were serious about moving back here. they've already bought some tiny house by my grandpa with a bathroom half the size of the one in my apartment you pretty much have to pee in the shower and wash your hands in the toilet. but they don't care cos at least they'll be living within 40 miles of a grocery store again. ..oh, and me :S

filial cannibalism

before we were together, tapeworm took me and helen to a party for some dude he worked with and jacque found out about it and called tapeworm to ask why she hadn't been invited and he said, "cos I didn't want you to act like a slut and embarrass me."

when jacque was 12, her mom cut her a line and told her to do it. or they'd never be close. her stepdad was a former alcoholic/child molester, all crazy into the 12 step thing and they hid everything from him but I'm sure he had to know something was going on when no one ever slept and her mom blew glass 16 hours a day. jacque thought he was watching her through a hole in her bedroom wall. he had been convicted of sexual abuse of his daughter; the same girl jacque and her oldest brother were sleeping with. I met jacque in 1997, I was 15 and soon after that I was going to her house after school to buy dope from her mom. just like the rest of her friends.

she had to be the center of everyones attention and seldom was. the year we met we both unknowingly liked the same boy, derek. he rode her bus and one day he told her he was into me and she flipped out and tried to hit me over it. she said she knew it wasn't my fault, but she was still mad.

when jacque had a bad day at school, her mom cut her a line and told her she was too sensitive. jacque said she vaguely remembered her mom molesting her as a young girl. her 8 year old brother came to stay 2 weekends a month and she wondered if her mom was molesting him now, too.

jacque said she was afraid to quit, cos she knew that meant she wouldn't have a mom anymore. I tried to tell her that she didn't have one as it was.

the alienation blog

today one of the extra special helpers bagged all my groceries and apparently he thought the bottom of the bag was a good place for my bananas so when I got home they were all mashed up in the bottom getting my cereal icky.
okay story time: my first job was at godfathers pizza and after about 3 weeks of being there I got stuck cooking for the lunch time and all my drivers were out and there was just me an the retarded guy to cover the phones, dining area, cash register and kitchen. ..yeah.
I was totally all up in a panic trying to keep the lunch buffet happy and take call in orders and fucking keep shit moving and suddenly dork boy comes up to tell me that someone left the sink on in the mens room.
and I was like okay well start mopping it up then.
after a few mins there was water rushing into the kitchen under the door and so i went back there and he was literally just pacing in front of the door to the mens room and he hadnt even turned off the water or taken out the fucking wad of paper towels some rancid little shit shoved in there. ugh. I think hiring retards is, well, retarded.

the guy across the street is a total mouth breather. he was homeschooled and has like zero social skills. you would think I could relate, but no; we don't get along. plus he lives with his sister. shes an epileptic painter and wears extraordinarily unflattering dresses made of clingy stretch material with mens socks and tennis shoes.
..no, I don't have a point.

pincushion

somebody asked me if I was on drugs today.
hehehh. is it that obvious?

when I was in highschool I dated this dude named ky (like kyle) whose dad passed him around to all his friends as a young boy and he was super fucked up and hated men and my parents kicked me out cos he would sneak up in my room at night. my dad told him "I don't want you sleeping with my daughter" and I was like omg.

my first night being "homeless" we stayed at some cab drivers apt who fell asleep in his room with the door open watching gay porn at high volume. I didn't sleep at all. the night after that we stayed at another middle aged gay mans apt who seemed less than thrilled to have me there.

the next day I took acid for the first time with a girl named noelle that I met at dennys and thats when I realized my boyfriend was gay. I have no idea why he was with me, but I'm positive he was fucking those dudes in exchange for a place to stay. noelle was way cooler than him anyway and I had never done drugs before so we took off all our clothes and ran down broadway at like 2p.

I saw a blind guy on the bus wearing glasses. maybe I'm just a dick, but I thought it seemed pretty redundant.

dirty carrie

ugh I have to post something new cos I am tired of seeing that dude's sack at the bottom of my page.

I have done basically nothing this entire week except play video games and touch myself a lot.
..holy retard I'm turning into a teenage boy????

um speaking of teenage boys I have spent pretty much all day talking to a 16 year old and by talking I mean breaking the law.

when I was like 5 me and my best friend jake used to dig for worms in my backyard and if we couldn't find enough I cut em in half with my playdoh knife so I could share with him :)

but the nastiness is that I know I've put these in my mouth D:

why I <3 bee:

Happy Fuckday!!

Fuck gas prices !! Fuck backstabbers !! fuck CHEATERS !! Fuck no ORGASM !! Fuck mean people !! Fuck people that can't drive !!Fuck having no money !!!Fuck jeans being to much money !~! FUCK EVERYTHING THAT MOVE!!!! Fuck hangovers ~Fuck Finals !!
Fuck girls that THINK my Exs wants them !!! Fuck girls who pretend to be your friend to get to sleep with your ex!!! Fuck people who are your friend only until they don't need you anymore - friends who use you. FUCK working 13 HOURS ON SUNDAY MORNING TILL FUCKING LATE EVENING..!!!!~ FUCK living in fucking HONG KONG!! ~

FUCK PEOPLE WHO HATE ME! Fuck IT ALL...!! fuck condoms~
Fuck people who think pugs AND ENGLISH BULL TERRIERS.. are ugly!! FUCK NDONESIAN POLITICIAN~!!! Fuck me please if your hot~~ FUCK Girls who dont like to give DICK head a suck!! Fuck Liars!!!! Fuck Fruit at the Bottom yogurt! Fuck !! Fuck the RAINS..!! Fuck Lowe/ LV..DIOR..FUCKERS!!! Fuck deadbeat dads !!! FUCK my JOB.. today!!Fuck PEOPLES AIN'T Pittsburgh Fans!! Fuck being just friends ( stupid whores ) !!! Fuck YOU!!!! Fuck the Government !!! Fuck my job again...today (That' s right not going) !! FUCK FUCKING STUPID LIARS! ~fuck the fucking dumd head shit eater.. buttlicker!!!! FUCK PRESIDENT BUSH AND FUCK YOU BAMAS HATING ON PITTSBURGH FANS.. FUCK THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH YOU WILL LIKE IT!! fuck who hate cow and eat elephant..!! Fuck not having a second car, and having to stay home all day..!!!Fuck the price of houses! !!Fuck Mother In-Laws!! Fuck not able getting SEX for half year!!!!!!FUCK THOSE GUYS WHO NOT ABLE TO GIVE A GOOD FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!! fuck a guy who fuck me to PERIOD!! Fuck stupid foreign fuckers that try to hit on me and wont go away when i say go away!!! Fuck life in general!!! Fuck self centered, egotistical, manipulating, lying, live by a different set of rules people!!! Fuck stupid people goggling at my boobs..!!! FUCK THE PERSON WHO SPAM ME LIKE MOTHERFUCKER ON MSN.. FUCK LEVI'S JEANS ARE FUCKIN TIGHT!! FUCK THE LINGERIE PRICE.. Fuck the person who FUCK ME AT MY 15 and half..! Fuck people who know diving..!! fuck my filthy mouth!! FUCK EX STUPID BOYFRIENDS THAT THINK I STILL HAVE A FEELING!!! FUCK THEM! FUCK..ummm...YOU! and Fuck the BUTT LICKER..fuck the SHIT EATER.. FUCK THE FUCK FACE LOSER.. TALK NO SHITS...!! Fuck HER BF'S AssHoles ... !! FUCK BRAINLESS SMALL DICK GUYS !!!! FUCK MALE SLUTS...FUCK BRAD PITT@@ FUCK HIS NEW GF!! FUCK HIS BABYMOTHER !!!!FUCK NOSY ASS NEIGHBORS
FUCK PARIS HILTON! FUCK KYLE...I HATE HIS RETARDED ASS!!!! FUCK MY EX GAY B/F!! FUCK MY EX G/F TITS!!! FUCK THE STUPID "PROFILE TRACKERS" ON MYSPACE!!! FUCK GODMOTHER .! AND FUCK ALL YOU STEELER HATERS OUT THERE !
FUCK FUCKING STRESS!!!! FUCK STUPID PEOPLE AGAIN..!!
Fuck love no sex..!! FUCK paying for downloaded music!!!FUCK RELATIONSHIPS !! FUCK video games...LOL .... FUCK THIS PLANET! FUCK ROPE!!!! fuck it drive on !!!!!!! Fuck all the bitchin' and moanin'!!! FUCK bikini haters.. Roma Irama..... FUCK it up!! Fuck dirty tampon!! Fuck ex-BFs who have nothing better to do with their time than to use what love you still HAD for them to fuck with your head and heart one more time!!!! FUCK ex-boyfreinds that fuck all the sluts in the cklubs..!!! FUCK ex-boyfriends that fucking don't take care of their kids!!! Fuck people who make promises they can't keep !!! Fuck anything yellow..!! FUCK!!! Fuck my clients!! FUCK my life cuz it sucks ass !!! fuck the girl who is in relationship with my Exs..!!! Fuck me.. Seriously!!! Fuck loud ass BASS WAKING ME UP 15 TIMES A DAY!!! fuck being single, im sick of not getting SEX..!!! FUCK those wants fuck my ass, seriously it small like heck.. and it fucking hurts like hell!!! Fuck you you fucking fuck face loser shiteater.. ass cancer loser Bali Bomb maker!!! FUCK ALL OF YOU!!! Fuck NOT able to fuck brad pitt..!! Fuck stupid aliens!!! Fuck those cheat on a single mother loser!!! Fuck lame ass small dick guys !!!! FUCK ALL THE GUYS WHO WON'T RAPE ME AT ONCE!!! FUCK MICKEY MOUSE AND HIS NASTY GF !!.fuck the rest of DISNEYLAND..!! .FUCK THIS PERIOD SHITS..!! FUCK PEOPLE WROTE LIKE THIS " MY 3N3MiiGAZ FUCK MY HAT3RZ N FUCK DAT ON3 BiiTCH GiiGGL3Z!!115.FUCK VANS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck ugly children. hahahahaha!!

FUCK GOD..!! FUCK THOSE FUCK ME AND NOT CARE TO LICK MY PUSSY AND SUCKS MY TITS..!!! FUCK BIG BIG COCK CAN'T COOK AND FUCK!!!
FUCK EVERYONE THAT ENVY MY BEAUTY...!! FUCK EVERYONE THAT HATE MY WITTY!! FUCK AND... fuck this !! FUCK ALL YOU MOTHAFUCKIN COCKSUCKIN 2 BALL BITCH FAGGOT ASS MOTHAFUCKERS !!!

Fuck Hong Kong.....I'm moving back to Bali !!!
Fuck New Year eve in Hong Kong!! Fuck not able getting fuck in Bali last year.. Fuck I'll have good fuck in Bali for next summer!!!! Fuck Ass Cancer !!!Fuck Cheapshot!!! Fuck Cheapskates!! FUCK CHEAP CHAMPANGE... FUCK WHO CALL ME SNOBBY BITCH..!!! FUCK TOO POOR NOT ABLE GO TO SCHOOL!!! .fuck KIDS WHO HATES SCHOOL!! fuck who REFUSE TO follow my rules !!! Fuck guys who think they are hot shit even they are HOTTEST!!! fuck girls who think they are CUTE even they are ugly like HELL..!! fuck having to be in fuck in 1 hour nonstop!!
Fuck this shit... FUCK ME PLEASE!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK !! FUCK PEOPLE WHO NEVER BUY ME DINNER.. FUCK THOSE WHO TRYING TO RAPE ME IN THE ASS!! FUCK THOSE WHO USE ME AS A SLAVE.. FUCK THOSE JEALOUS CUNTS !! FUCK THOSE UNAPPRECIATE MY THOUGHTS.. FUCK THOSE WHO THINK I AM NICE, FUCK THOSE WHO THINK I AM NOT A BITCH, FUCK THOSE HAVING ANAL SEX WITH HORSE.. FUCK GIRLS WHO AIN'T FILTHY MOUTH... FUCK THOSE SEXY HATERS.. FUCK THOSE STUPID COCK ..... FUCK..FUCK..FUCK..FUCK....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK YOU I AM NOT A STUPID.. FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK I AM NICE AGAIN...

FUCK ME YOU WILL HAVE A GOOD LUCK

bee wrote this post!! in case you didn't notice the link at the top. she is amazing. fuck my blog; go read hers :D

no bitch to me.

okay lets get one thing straight. you are wrong. dead wrong.
pretty much always. and you would do well to remember that.
its called blogofcarrie because I do the talking here; you just kiss my ass. you are more than welcome to tell me exactly how much I rock and should you feel the need to say anything beyond that is why you have your own blog. I allow comments not critiques and I don't need your negativity, I've got plenty. (yes I just told you that I don't want to hear it and I couldn't give a shit what you think about that). now carry on.

ps. this is raging menstruation carrie. please come back in 5-7 days.

faggoliath

this blog is crippling me. I have pictures to upload but I am too special to get them off my phone. practically everyone at the gh is a lesbian now so me and tapeworm ate cupcakes and synthesized vitamin d.

I called my dad last sunday to say happy fathers day and he was too drunk to hold a conversation so I guess it was a good one. he was introducing me as his wife's daughter which is probably indicative of more than just his stupefaction. I am totally gonna pull my hair over one eye soon.

a nugget for you

the problem with helping people other than it being a total waste of time is that it only serves to perpetuate their helplessness and validate it for them. people that need help are lazy and the only reason they don't get it is because they don't pay attention when someones there to show them what the fuck they need to do. they are somehow under the assumption that you are there to do it for them and that its gonna do them any good to have the right answers if they don't know how they got there. it is pretty much decided i am not interested in tutoring because smart kids don't need help.

he's a real pantshitter

tapeworm did not go to work today because he can't stop shitting himself. then the toilet flusher broke off (!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I have no idea what I am supposed to do about that actually but I am hoping it does not involve having the maintenance man up here again. my place is rather trashed plus he is a total molester.

we spent the whole weekend at my parents house but mostly at the bar down the.. um, street? I guess. I got amazingly drunk because there is really nothing else to do and all the "locals" were completely obsessed that we're from a real city and wanted to live vicariously through my bra.


the only weed they have is brown and poverty makes me sad kinda so I shared mine and I think they may have mistook my generosity for kindness, but in truth was merely another opportunity for me to show off and act superior.

why are you still here????

I am basically a genius at nutrition now although no one cares to heed my advice at all. obesity = retardation. seriously.

anyhow, I have decided that I will take zero classes this summer and maybe tutor people or get a job but probably not.

yesterday brokeback bob stopped by right in the middle of pilates cos he lacks the foresight to call ahead and see if anyone even wanted to see him so I didn't stop the entire time he was here. he lives like 40 minutes away and his wife doesn't let him get high so he just pops over whenever and says some shit like "I was just in the neighborhood" which is total crap so I won't get him stoned until he admits he came over just to freeload and hide from his bitch.


also, if you haven't sat thru the atrocity that was brokeback mountain DONT. unless you are into vulgar tasteless displays of homo cock thrust and tent desecration. with all those sheep out there they just HAD to fuck each other huh? I don't buy it.
to be honest, Im kinda hurt that none of you cared enough to question my judgement on that one. thanks guys.

talk nerdy to me

yesterday tapeworm and I went to some old peoples house that smelled of sauerkraut and incontinence and I sat on their couch and demystified finance and got a pee rash or something and had to scratch myself a lot.

also we took tapes mom shopping and she rented get rich or die tryin and then spilled a rootbeer float in the car and didn't tell anybody.

my parents were here for like 5 mins saturday and my dad launched into a panic attack and totally stroked out for no reason. they are set on moving back to seattle now because they "miss me" and have some absurd expectation that I will want to come live with them again.

I have to go make tapeworm watch brokeback mountain now because I know how much he really doesn't want to watch it and the thought of seeing his little homophobic toes curl up when he sees cowboys touching each other is making me way excited.

things that suck:

not having my shoutbox anymore. so what if I ignored you I still liked it.

never knowing the names of any of the famous people I am trying to talk about.
..or when I assign them names that no one else knows. and also not even be able to tell you what show they're from or what movies they've been in. this is a real problem actually.

not being stoned enough. wait.. I can fix that!

having people live upstairs. especially the ones that live up there now and DID I TELL YOU that I went up there and she answered the door in her bra? I told you people before that I am an irresistably unattainable lesbian fantasy HOWEVER annoying me until I come upstairs and knock on your door to tell you that you have succeeded in irritating me just so you can try and throw all your lesbianation at me in one.. um, door answering.. just goes above and beyond the call of duty.
I am way easier than that.

dawsons creek only comes on once a day. I don't really give a shit what you people think about it, one is just never enough. how did I used to manage when it was only on ONCE A WEEK??????!!!! baffling. I am totally retarded for that show.

ugh this list sucks.

one time I almost lost my arm working a production line in a magnet factory. I was feeding sheets of magnet into 2 big rollers that pressed them to adhesive backed photos and my hand got caught for a second. there is a button to stop them, but that was not my first reaction. it was totally stressful.

"mama, I smoked the tv"

tapeworm has the crabbies. he says its just the heat but I think he secretly hates me and wants me to move out, only for some reason he is punishing himself so he keeps telling me I'm completely insane. when he washes the dishes he sprays water all over the kitchen and makes a huge mess and I know if I say anything about it he will just not do them anymore and he is actually flooding the kitchen with the exact intention that I will bitch and he will no longer have to do dishes.

my mom got a new dog. she had her last one euthanized because she thought it barked too much. also I am going to tell you all some riveting information via my textbook about why fat people are fat and can't not be fat because lets face it everyone hates them and thats just not nice cos well, they're people too apparently.

fat cells may increase in size and number when there is a positive energy balance. obese people have more fat cells than normal and they are also larger. when energy out exceeds energy in, their sizes dwindle, but not their number. people with extra fat cells tend to regain lost weight rapidly; with weight gain, their many fat cells readily fill.

In contrast, people with an average number of enlarged fat cells may be more successful in maintaining weight lost; when their cells shrink, both cell size and number are normal.

there are also more complex hormonal influences at work to make the fat cells of an obese person super efficient at storing fat as well but thats too much to blog and you get the point.

..this makes it rather obvious why "dieting" does not work-- the second you stop, those efficient fat cells win. the only changes worth making are those you can commit to lifelong ;)

breasticles!!!!!!!!!!!

my cousins brain exploded last year. she married some guy she met in narcotics anonymous. they had a lot in common, namely 8 children and cocaine.

she and I were both adopted and my family was never okay with me bringing home black guys but it was fine for her cos she was mexican (???????????) and they didn't feel that they could expect her to keep it white.

when I was in first grade, my teacher had us cut faces out of construction paper and put yarn hair on it and they were supposed to be our self portraits. somehow I was surprised when she asked me why I had chosen to use brown paper for my pale face and black yarn instead of yellow for my blonde hair.

I had like zero white friends and I begged my mom for months to let me wear my hair in braids like the girls down my block had. eventually she gave in and sectioned my hair up in like 5 ponytails and braided them and put 5 of my little clips in the bottoms to hold them in place and sent me off to school.
heh. I didn't quite fit in like I thought I would.

attractive nuisance

I used to hang out with this retarded girl named nikki when I was in highschool cos she smelled bad and had sandpaper face and well. I just looked really good standing next to her :D so yeah anyhow she pissed me off one day when I was at her house so I was gonna steal one of her cds while she was in the shower and when I was going thru them I found some shit she stole from me and I was like NUH UH BITCH!!!!!! and stole it right back. that cunt.

ugh saturday classes are gaaaaaaaaaaay. how can I be expected to read when there's so much beer in the world?

hi.

yesterday I told my mom I am having anxiety about getting old and she basically called me stupid. not that she's wrong but that wasn't exactly the consolation I was after. anyway I am about 5.5 years away from noticeable deterioration and that bothers me.

when I woke up my dvr was full and there was this whole overwhelming urgency about having to watch all my shows at once to make room for all my new shows to get recorded.
you don't know stress.

post

I was just thinking it was probably time I had posted something new.

HORK!

I hurt myself right promptly for nice weather and drinking.
well the drinking is not going to be affected really.
...and I guess neither is the weather.
but I am pretty sure something about that equation is going to be a bummer even if I can't put my finger on it right now.
OH and then I got sick (!!!!!!!!!!)
not like puking on myself and sleeping by the toilet sick;
this is all about sneezing bloody clumps of infection and disgust plus I can't hear myself talk and I want to jam q-tips in my ears until they work again.
stop acting like you give a shit.

I read that sleeping can alter the shape of your boobs and now I am SUPER PARANOID to lay down for fear that I may adversely affect my assets.

less fortunate than whoM?

my mom is being a total cunt and I have pretty much been extricated from the rest of my family because they are all insecure and intimidated by my genius and sheer earning power. I will be the most successful person they know soon and they totally hate that.

I have had a headache for about 4 months now and I think it might be a tumor or something equally tragic because I am feeling dramatic and I want it to be important.

for a minute today I was seriously considering volunteer work at a homeless youth organization I used to take advantage of and then I remembered that I totally HATE homeless people and the last thing I want to do is spend 20 thankless hours every week trying to help a bunch of losers who don't even care to help themselves. which made me question why I was considering it in the first place. and I think I associate that place with being irresponsible and having people coddle me for it. even tho being homeless sucks a lot, it is the ultimate vacation from life.

there is a noise war going on between me and the people upstairs and they are of course winning because all they have to do is run across the floor to be annoying and I have to actually stand on my furniture and beat the ceiling which is more inconvenient.

this is too much stress to have over something so insignificant but its also impossible to ignore people stomping and screaming and jumping off the furniture 24 hours a day. these people are totally fucked. if I had a basement I would hang myself in it. actually if I had a basement I wouldn't have to hang myself anymore because I probably couldn't hear them from down there. I would just have to only hang out in the basement from now on. which depending on how cool my basement was I may still want to hang myself in it.

I am kinda in a really shitty mood and everything I say sounds like whining and I am seriously starting to annoy myself.

OMG Y'ALL

I'm on 25 peeps!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay so actually I got tha boot. after just 2 days. I guess my face was just too butty. or you selfish fucks weren't clicking my links enough. what the fuck? (!!!!!!) tho not to worry; I've re-submitted another pic and I will probably just keep doing that forever until someone gets so tired of seeing my retarded pictures that they leave me comments mean enough to convince me not to do it anymore.


holy shit tapeworm got a job and I am being super bitter and totally not happy at all because now we will never see each other again really and I will also be responsible for getting myself to school. it feels like I am losing more than I'm gaining out of this.

I have 8 classes left until graduation. thats like 8 classes left until I have to grow up, too.

ugh that was so emo. I sound about 8 hours away from menstruation.

mein kolon

all my cousins totally hate me cos I've been way better than all of them since like, birth. plus I was the youngest and spent my whole first 7 years as a full time narc.

when I was 4 my cousin matt fed me like half a box of dog jerky and told me it was real beef jerky but I knew there was something wrong with it cos he was actually being nice and so I told my grandma and she got extra pissed and made him eat the whole rest of the pack.

when he was in 2nd grade he got lice so bad he plucked out all of his eyelashes. I never met his mom but I'm pretty sure she was a hooker.

he moved in with my aunt and her husband/his dad when he was like 10 but he was pretty much fucked from go and by the time he was 17 they'd finally had enough of him and were like, "get out" and so he and his scumbag friends would break into their house a whole bunch and steal everything and pawn it for heroin and he stole her car a few times and spent a good amount of time in jail.

I'm pretty sure he was gay. well his dad turned out to be anyhow. one time my aunt came home early from work and walked right into some kind of nazi meeting in her basement. he had swastikas hung on 3 walls and everyone was dressed in uniform.

when she filed for divorce, he had his hair dyed blonde cos he thought it was because he was starting to look old.

6 months after he moved out she found some unmarked videotapes and popped one in the vcr where she saw her ex-husband and a couple of his co-workers attempting to make their own amateur gay porn.

..I don't remember where I was going with this.

have you ever tried our sausages?

jorell has been sick for 2 and 1 half days and basically my life is so pathetic that I've had nothing else better to do than sit here and and whine about how I have no one to be gay with.


I brought my bike to my grandparents house for the weekend and my 76 year old grandpa decided to pull his tandem bicycle out of the shed and join me for a ride around the neighborhood.

we got about half way up the block and he stood up on his pedals as we came around the corner and then suddenly he circled back toward the house without saying a word, so I was like, "hey pops, did you forget something?" and he yelled back to me, "no.. damnit. I thought that was gonna be a fart"

jackalbutt

someone called me vain this week. even tho I can totally see why, and I don't really disagree, it just sounded so icky.
like when I see someone who's completely and inexplicably full of themselves and I'm like "heh, somebody lied to her".
only this time I was that girl. ME (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
ugh I'm still feeling a little emo about it.


my mom started a collection to guilt the welfare recipients of her trailer park into donating money to buy me towels cos I told her we'd been drying off with napkins and baby oil.

I'll spend $300 a week getting high but theres just no way I'm paying $50 for towels.

let my fucking hair drip.

chicks hate me

I got a friend request from tapeworms highschool girlfriend today on myspace. she is like 4 years older than me and we were never friends. obviously she is vying for my position and this was the warning shot. a slight annoyance but no cause for concern. I'm carrie damnit. and bear in mind, she has birthed children so yeah. she's shot.

I got super drunk last night and didn't go to sleep until 3 and had to get up at 6 this morning for an exam and had 4 shots of espresso on the way to class and pretty much had to take a shit the ENTIRE THREE HOURS I was testing.

also, I dont know what the major tragedy was yesterday but I'm gonna ask that you not sit in the goddamn BE shoutbox with your friends (or your enemies??!!?!! WTF?) and discuss ME(?!!) all day long.

..do it in the blogmad one :D

oh shit rofl

happy birthday dirtbag

for a limited time only...

naked pictures of carrie

its amazing I don't get raped more often

our phone number is changing on the 1st and I was gonna post the number here until it got shut off but then I got paranoid that someone could be all nerdy and find my address and everything from it so I tried to do it and omg it works. I'm totally gonna go all stalker now. if I ever find any random mystery phone numbers I will scout out their owners and IDENTIFY THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plus you might want to think twice about posting your whole name on your blog cos I even looked up some of YOU. yes. its true. luckily for you all I'm one of the good guys. I don't have any plans to kidnap, rape, kill or throw any of your bodies in a dumpster.
but y'know if it happens, it happens.

around 7pm I was late to meet up with tapeworm and he had already left so I was walking around downtown looking for a phone and saw a guy glance up at me as he was getting into his car and I paused to ask him if he knew where I could find one and he said, "actually, yeah, I'm headed up that way. can I take you?" unlocked the door and cleared the seat. I didn't hesitate to accept the invitation. after all, I had approached him. I got in the car and as promised, he drove up the hill and about 4 blocks south before pulling upside a payphone in front of a large office building. I thanked him and got out of the car, shutting the door behind me and proceeded to make my call. when I finished he was still there and didn't appear to be doing anything but waiting for me so I waved and went on my way. as I reached the curb I saw him turn his car around and he drove back toward the way we came. I walked in the same direction along side the endless string of parked cars lining the street until I came upon one with a man sitting inside smiling at me. waving with one hand and masturbating with the other. the same man I had just ridden with a few blocks back.

I have a feeling my grades are about to tank

I loved (the idea of) battle of the blogs but it was pretty much a disaster from go. the same 5 housewives sat in there all day fixing battles and voting for people based on how much they paid for their webdiva template. and while they do look nice, a pretty picture does not a blogger make.
and it got old. damn old.

no one was really having fun anymore and people were actually getting kicked out for reporting cheating and complaining about it.

I honestly couldn't care less about empty blog traffic, but I liked playing the games damnit. all of the other blog traffic services are carbon copies of each other that don't offer anything but surfing and can't even manage to distribute traffic; the ONLY thing they claim to do. 500 credits shouldn't last a month. and theres just no way in hell I'm going to sit here and click to watch the same 10 blogs rotate.

...but I will cage fight :D

theres finally a place for those of us who liked to pit ourselves against each other without turning everything into a popularity contest.. no more people IM'ing me to vote for them (!!) no more mommy blog domination. and (hopefully) no more WHINING. oh, and get exposure for your blog too :p

plus you can transfer credits to other people, rate blogs on varb, upload your pics to create custom puzzles and put together puzzles made by other bloggers. theres actually a ton of shit to do at blogmad. its quality surfing and has made quite the bump in my visitors as well. I'm way impressed. I spent at least 3 hours there today for their trial launch and still didn't see everything!
(..or get any homework done)

its currently 'invite only' but all you gotta do is ask for one. and if you had signed up back in the day when they first started taking members, you're already in.

also I found a whole community dedicated to hating rachael ray.

thats actually not part of blogmad.
but it should be.

I never realized how important boobs are for women until I saw one who didn't have any.

I hope the effing olympics are about over. oprah at 3 isnt really working out.

who gives a fuck what you think?

heh.. me

you don't have to be a long-time reader to participate, so long as you have gotten a general impression of me through my blog or comments I've made.

I would appreciate your honest opinion rather than your attempts at humor, but I'll take what feedback I can get and promise not to track you down and kill you for disagreeing with me.


click on the links below and choose 5 or 6 words you think best describe me. good AND bad :D

johari window         nohari window

This tool allows me to see which qualities others perceive in me, and which ones are merely my own imagination. This is a tool for self-improvement.



interpreting the window:

Terms selected by both the participant and their peers are placed into the Arena quadrant, representing the fact that everyone involved knows these particular pieces of information about the participant individual; they have been openly communicated.

Terms selected only by the participant, but not by any of their peers, are placed into the Façade quadrant, representing information about the participant of which their peers are unaware. The choice is then up to the participant whether or not to self-disclose this set of information.

Terms that are not selected by the participant but only by their peers are placed into the Blind Spot quadrant. These represent information of which the participant is not aware, but others are, and they can decide whether and how to inform the individual about these "blind spots".

Terms which were not selected by either the participant or their peers remain in the Unknown quadrant, representing the participant's behaviors or motives which were not recognized by anyone participating. This may be because they do not apply, or because there is collective ignorance of the existence of that trait.

I nicked this from omnamaste.

thats a 'whites only' pie

my mom called yesterday for the first time since christmas. it was good to hear from her in the obligatory sense but exhausting otherwise. I had the number changed this morning.

my school is having a racist bake sale where they're gonna charge people based on their earning potential. that means white men get taxed and cripples pretty much eat for free. I'm totally gonna go cos I'm a woman. thats something of a handicap.

(click image to view full-size flyer)

I have rum and 4 jugs of pineapple juice. plus I can pause live television now. my quality of life is beginning to surpass even my own expectations :D

ugh. the internet bores me

fuck you guys. I'm watching television.

Amo il collo del tacchino

Antonio: 02/12/2006 3:53 AM

E da molto che ho scritto questa poesia dedicata a Sofia, ma non ho avuto mai l’occasione di raccontargliela di persona, per cui la colgo adesso, tramite voi se mi fareste questo favore. So che è molto difficile ma sapendo che e stato il suo compleanno ne approfitterei a fargli gli auguri, se ritenete che questa mia poesia sia bella, potreste fargliela avere, al solo scopo che possa capire che veramente c’è gente semplice che gli vuole bene e l’ammira, come attrice e come persona .Veramente mesi fa sono stato alla trasmissione di Maurizio Costanzo Show, come spettatore ma ho avuto vergogna ha consegnare la mia poesia al signor Maurizio, anche perché beccai una serata, che si parlava della morte di pantani .Ma forse sarebbe più bello per me se oggi ricevesse questa poesia .Ora ve la racconto .Ha scusate io mi chiamo Antonio Cirillo e sono di Acropoli in provincia di Salerno, in via Emanuele Di Sergio.

DEDICATA A SOFIA LOREN

Tu sei bella, bella, bella.
Tu sei bella come una stella.
Sei nel cielo la più splendente,
sei la più bella del firmamento.
Non credevo nell’amore
ed ora sono innamorato,
se ti guardo, nei miei occhi,
c’è una luce che si accende.
Il mio corpo vibra forte
come una foglia al vento,
le mie mani che vorrebbero
accarezzare la tua pelle,
perché sei bella, bella, bella.
ma lontana a l’orizzonte.
Non ti posso stringere al cuor
Perché tu sei troppo grande
Sei un vulcano in esplosione
Una nube incandescente che
Brucia tutto quando scende
Tu per me sei come il sole,
come tutti i suoi tramonti
ci regala i suoi colori
infuocati dal calore.
Perché sei bella, bella, bella
Tu sei bella e sei una stella
Sei una statua tutta D’ORO
Con due occhi da brillanti
Tu per me sei il più bel
Fiore che la natura ci ha regalato.
Grazie Sofia di esser nata.

"this is abusery!"

this morning I had the most infuriating dream where my dad was trying to control everything like usual and he had contracted some people to enforce his decree and they tried to impose a weed limit on me and I had to draw the line at that. but of course he was too caught up in his dictatorship to listen to reason and so I had no choice but to lay down the beatings. I was super pissed cos I threw all my rage into every swing but none of my fucking punches would connect. I woke up feeling all unsatisfied and with no other recourse than to take my aggressions out upon the toilet.

I ate paint chips when I was little

people I dont know came over last night and the first thing they did was totally stress me out. somehow this girl thought it was gonna be cool for her to just start taking my animals out of their cages and when I told her not to she was like "oh, no its okay; I work at petco."

tapeworm told me that road turtles were there so that blind people could drive. he said there was an abundance of turtles and they used to glue real ones to the street until the animal rights activists intervened.
and I totally believed it.

I found a baby turtle when I was 6 and named him I Love You Turtle and brought him home with me to live but he died a few months later and my dad helped me bury him in a jewelry box in the backyard next to the garage but I missed him so I dug him up every day to give him a little kiss on his head. then one time I pushed in his eyeballs.

mugu guyman keep offfffffffffffffff ooooooooooooo

saturday I tried to climb in the back of the car and fell out on my ass in the middle of the student parking lot. I have no idea how that happened but like 6 fucking carloads of people stopped to laugh at me.

tapeworm and I broke up 4 times last week.
once over a movie and twice over food.
I cant remember what the other reason was so maybe it was just 3.

I've been nominated for the national deans list. apparently I'm ranked in the top half of 1% of the nations college students.

if thats true, we should all be very afraid.


I havent opened my textbooks once yet and I'm about 5 weeks into the quarter. I can only do like one thing well at a time and right now thats watch tv.

let them eat carrie

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Carrie!

1. The first carrie was made in 1853, and had no pedals!
2. Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat carrie'.
3. If carrie was life size, she would stand 7 ft 2 inches tall and have a neck twice the size of a human.
4. To check whether carrie is safe to eat, drop her in a bowl of water; rotten carrie will sink, and fresh carrie will float!
5. There are six towns named carrie in the United States.
6. Carrie is 1500 years older than the pyramids.
7. Some people in Malaysia bathe their babies in beer to protect them from carrie!
8. On average, women blink nearly twice as much as carrie.
9. Half a cup of carrie contains only seventeen calories.
10. Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of carrie in a day.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

ask carrie

Hi Carrie,

I find your non-convention life to be very interesting! I really admire your determination to live life as you see fit, and not cave into the will of others.

Last year my boyfriend and I decided to embark on a "trial separation". We originally planned to do this for only 2 months, however the months kept going by, and it now has become a year. I think neither of us had the courage to make a final decision.

We have remained friends all this time, however we do not live together anymore, and I know I am no longer aware of everything that goes on in his life. I believed we had an unspoken rule about not dating anyone else. And I've kept that promise; recently I've come to suspect he is seeing someone. While I know I don't own him anymore, I do feel hurt as if this new relationship of his is cheating on me. I really want to get married and have children, and I feel that he would be the perfect father. I am not sure how to approach him and let him know that I still am madly in love with him. I want to confront his new girlfriend and explain to her what she is trying to wreck, but I'm afraid it will drive him away from me forever when he finds out. I'm really at a loss on what to do!

Ash





thats because people like you never want to accept that the answer doesn't necessarily involve getting what you want.
Ima put it to you blunt Ash, cos I know you thats why you came to me in the first place.

a year is a long ass time and I think you're kidding yourself if you think he is sitting around playing convent with you.
Im assuming that this separation is something he initiated because
a) you're presenting it as if it were a mutual thing and well, it just never is,
b) I think you'd feel less reluctant to "make a final decision" if you'd actually been a part of the original decision, and
c) you conveniently left out the part about how long you'd been together. which leads me to believe it was probably less than a year and you just didn't want to mention that because it takes credence away from all that fluff you've been filling your head with.

normally this is where I'd have to preface my next statement with all that "I don't really know you guys" jazz, but in this case I feel like you've actually projected a fairly accurate portrayal;
your EX boyfriend is a pussy.
there is one line of your email that stands out to me:

"..neither of us had the courage to make a final decision."

this line alone proves that you are simply in denial. this was your own speculation! you had the answer all along but instead of facing it head on you choose to further delude yourself. that line should have read:

"HE didn't have the courage to PRESENT a final decision."

as obviously, from your account, he has made one. as far as you trying to involve yourself in his new relationship, leave it alone.
you can only change a relationship you're party to. any interference from you will only work to your detriment.

don't let your biological clock cloud your logic; any man who needs a 2 month break from you before theres even any kids in the mix is not cut out for fatherhood. in essence, he did you a favor by making that clear before it was too late.

vivacious ass

tonight the korean burger lady said she thinks of me as more than just a customer. shes pretty much still just gonna be the burger lady to me. it was cute tho.

I almost spent $80 on a new case because I had a dirty fan. tapeworm thought cleaning it might be a more novel approach so we spent $6 on compressed air instead. I played with video ipods whilst waiting for tapeworm to check out and some haggard fossil came up and put his fucking hand on my ass. DUDE. and when I turned around and SAW HIM I almost cried.

I went to bed early cos tapeworm was acting all bitchy and emo last night and when I woke up I was still totally pissed so I just decided to go with it and that meant I had to take the bus to school which was basically like punishing myself because downtown smells like pee and there is no way to avoid waiting half an hour for the bus to show up and it was like 20 degrees outside.


he really needs to not piss me off when I've got shit to do damnit.

I hope god wasn't looking...

the bastard asked for 5 random facts about me.
apparently I interpreted "random" as "twisted".

update: and because fruey of let's have it did not find my mullet to be very rock n roll, he's requested a BONUS RANDOM ROCK N ROLL FACT.

update 2: I changed my mind and I've relieved one lucky blogger of their meming obligations and I'm challenging semi-anonymous commentor jx to pick up the slack (you dont have to link your blog but it'd be cool if you played along in the comments).


1. I got in the backseat of tapeworms car so my best friend could give him a blowjob.


2. I didn't eat rice for like 10 years because I ate some chinese food in my room one time and I put the half eaten plate under my bed and forgot about it for a few weeks and when I found it again all the rice was crawling around on the plate. and I made my mom clean it up.


3. when I was 8 I had a mullet and wore shoes without socks or laces and hypercolor tshirts and fluorescent pink spandex pants like everyday. ugh. I was such an anomaly.


4. I gave my phone number out twice using irc in the school library for the first time. the first caller I could tell was a bit older than myself and polite but whacked off in my ear nonetheless. he called again the next day and after that I told him it was probably best that he not make a habit of it and he agreed to move on.
the second guy was not so easily persuaded. his voice was super nasally and he called several times a day and all he ever wanted to do was talk about my feet and so I'd be like dude, dont call me anymore but he was like "I can tell you have really nice feet and I need to talk to you carrie. please. I love you." and I'd hang up and panic cos I lived with my parents and they woulda killed me if they answered the phone to some creeped out old dude trying to talk to their 14 year old daughter.
I had my friend taya over after school one day and she answered the phone and I knew right away who she was talking to by the sudden change in her voice. I told her to hand me the phone but she ignored me and continued talking. a few seconds later she yelled "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT FOR?!" and I was like oh shit and she said "NO FUCK YOU. CARRIE DOESN'T WEAR PANTIES. WE WEAR UNDERWEAR GODDAMNIT. I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU"
he didn't call anymore after that.


5. me and my friend faye made 2 boys jerk off for meth.


6. tapeworm took me to the paramount to see slayer and I ran into his exgirlfriend having a cigarette in the lobby. she had a ground level wristband and when she found out I was there with him she got all excited about wanting to see him so I let her trade me her wristband :D for my ticket so they could do some catching up and I could try to wedge myself up next to the stage. it totally fucking rocked. some creepy looking guy standing behind me was tying off and I got scared that someone might push him and he'd miss and stab me in the back with his HIV needle so I pushed forward and spent the remainder of the show just far back enough to avoid serious injury. when the show was over I met up with a less than impressed tickles tapeworm outside the front doors. I think he actually smoked a bowl in front of me. like without passing.
in fact, reading this is probably going to piss him off all over again :)


and I'm tagging...
tapeworm, jorell, jx, jennifer
and the FRESHLY IMPREGNATED danielle

thats right!! danielle's knocked up! get over there and send your condolences

gag on my cock ass sex

tapeworm drank like half a bottle of sauza last night and started accusing me of stealing things. even tho we live together. I threatened to push him off the balcony and right after that I heard the neighbors downstairs on their balcony go shhhhhhhhh and I pretty much spent the rest of the morning waiting for the cops to knock on the door.

I woke up around 3p in the middle of a dream that some people I didn't know were driving me to the house my sister killed herself in and I think I was trying to cry but I just ended up waking myself up cos I was breathing extra loud and making weird throat noises.

I've been thinking I want to cut my own hair even tho I know I'll do a shitty job and probably seriously fuck it up but I dont like to make reservations because I dont want to have to deal with the anxiety of trying to be somewhere at a specific time.